I know we didn’t win last night, but now if I ever meet Jonny Gomes I have something to ask him. Bubbalicious or Big League Chew?

After those last two fugly games, I thought some external comedy may be in order. (Oh, and I apparently used the term “fugly” one game too early.) So, we have The Onion’s thoughts on the 2004 WS ball controversy. And completely off topic from the Red Sox except for the fact that it’s from a school in Massachusetts, live action Super Mario Brothers. Yes it’s 5 minutes long, but it’s worth it.

Good thing we have our big stopper pitching tonight…Matt Clement?

Dear Josh,

Listen, I think we need to talk. I know you really like me, and you like to throw me around a lot, but I can’t be a one-pitch girl. So why don’t you take some time and play around with the curveball and the sinker. Only when you’ve had some good experience with them will we be able to make it work.

Love,
Your four-seam fastball

Since I’m normally quite bitter about the Sox losses, especially when the look as bad as last night, I’m going to try to find some positives in the loss:

1) Wily Mo’s fielding percentage in CF in now 1.00.

2) Uhhhh…

Yeah, I give up. That loss last night was, for lack of a better term, fugly. Everybody seems to love the “Major League” comparisons. Here’s the problem, does anybody remember the beginning of that movie? Cerrano couldn’t hit the curve ball to save his life, every Vaughn pitch went to the backstop and Hayes kept getting picked off. Wily Mo still can’t hit the curve (although he proved last night that he can hit the fastball), every pitch of Wakefield’s seems to go to the backstop (even the strikes), and Coco can’t even get on base cause his finger is broken. So the question is, will this team band together by making a naked poster of John Henry and peeling off pieces as they win?

Wily Mo now has as many home runs as Bronson.

But I still like a guy whose entire official biography reads “Name is pronounced Willie Moe PAIN-ya.“

After last nights atrocious baserunning we will be having a practice tomorrow. Coach Hale will be leading everyone (including pitchers) in a game of red light/green light. We will keep playing until Manny and Jason win a game.

-Tito

Welcome to Dirty Watah. You may be wondering why the world needs another Red Sox blog, considering that almost every niche out there has been filled. For example, there are extremely bitter Sox blogs, stats-centric message boards (where the waiting list to get a posting account is longer than the Sox season tickets list), blogs of Sox fans arguing with Yankees fans, and so on.

So why read this one? Well, it’s free, so you can’t use that excuse. But hopefully I’ll be able to get a chuckle or two out of you, and according to Vince Lombardi that’s just as important as winning.

Hope you all enjoy, and feel free to comment away!