I feel like the term “fundamental baseball” is overused, but tonight the Sox played as fundamental baseball as you’ll see this side of Tom Emanski’s instructional videos. This game deserves an entire Sportscenter Top Plays dedicated to it. I may not be Linda Cohn, but…

10. In the 1st, Varitek throws out the very speedy Reyes trying to steal second.

9. Big Papi scores from 3rd to tie the game in the 6th (more on this play later), and tacks on a insurance bomb in the 8th.

8. Lowell barehands and throws out Chavez on a bunt attempt in the 3rd. By the time Lowell got to the ball, it couldn’t have been more than 20 feet from home plate.

7. Coco bunts for a base hit, steals second, is brought to third on a sac bunt and scores the go-ahead run on Youk’s sac fly. Fundamental.

6. Youk has a diving stop in the 3rd to rob Milledge of a double.

5. Schilling picks off the 96 year old Julio Franco from second.

4. Loretta fields a grounder in the grass about 15 feet away from first base and throws to the lunging Youk for the out.

3. Schilling goes 7 innings, 2 runs for his 10th win of the season.

2. Papi tags up from 2nd on Lowell’s fly ball to center to get to third with one out. He may have looked like Cartman rolling down a hill, but no doubt it was effective.

And number one, as if there’s a question…

I’m sorry Schill, you pitched a great game tonight. But 7 innings, 2 runs does not get you the top play. Even Big Papi doesn’t get the top play when he goes 3-4, and tags up from 2nd to 3rd and from 3rd home to score the tying run. No, tonight Coco put his stamp on Fenway Park.

There are routine plays, there are good plays, and there are one or two of those “holy f–ing shit how the hell did he catch that” plays a year. A line drive to deep left center. If this ball gets past Coco, the game is tied, maybe even lost. Coco runs after the ball like a 747 trying to take off, jumps, goes horizontal in the air and somehow catches the ball. If this play doesn’t make WebGems of the year, there’s something wrong with the system.

What does Coco do when he goes back into the dugout? Grabs a Red Bull and starts pounding. I always thought the “Red Bull gives you wings” campaign was a joke. After today, I actually believe that with enough Red Bull even I’ll be able to dunk.

These Top 10 plays are brought to you by a dozen wins, and 16 straight errorless games.

Anybody for a baker’s dozen?

First, a little bitching. ESPN2?? How on earth did Pedro’s homecoming, Pedro vs. Beckett, get demoted to ESPN2? What was on ESPN you ask? The NBA Draft. Because that really needs to be in HD. So instead I was stuck with crappy regular TV because lovely Comcast won’t give me ESPN2HD. Bastards, all of them.

Also, A-Rod. I know you hit a walk-off home run. Congrats. But for Christ’s sake, you just make yourself look like an even bigger tool when you look towards the dugout with a “who’s-the-man-now” look and a bat flip. The ratio of walk-off home runs to walk off double-plays needs to be greater than 1:50 for you to pull that off. Just a suggestion. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program…

Well that was anti-climactic. After last night’s standing ovation we knew Petey would get a nice hand, but here are some things I definetely did not expect:

• John Henry’s waterworks
• Wally and Mr. Met both cheering for Pedro (Sox fan or not, you’ve got to love Mr. Met.)
• Petey giving up 8 runs (6 earned) and only lasting 3 innings.
• The disgusting Pey-dro chants.

Let’s just say that I’m glad it’s not the Pedro of 1999-2000. No command, no movement, and no defense. When you give up a 2-run bomb to A-Gon you know you’re in trouble. As Theo Epstein put it “Computer geeks 1, Pedro nothing.”

The real story of the night was Beckett. 7.2 innings, 2 runs (both solo shots), 7Ks. Aside from two blemishes, he was amazing. Spotting the curve, changeup and the fastball, he was making most Met batters look as confused as Pedro was.

So we’ve hit 11. Time to go for the dozen.

What a streak this has been. We’ve had blowouts, Big Papi walkoffs, and everything in between. One of the most interesting things about the past 10 games is the emergence of Jon Lester. Back on June 16th, the Sox had just been swept by the Twins and were going into Atlanta pitching a highly-touted rookie. They basically had a 3-man rotation (Schilling, Beckett and Wake), and didn’t know what to expect from the rook. Ten games later, the rookie is 3-0 with a 2.95 ERA. But what was really impressive last night was his ability to buckle down and get out of a bunch of jams. It’s obvious that the guy has control problems, but at least when he gets into trouble he doesn’t turn into Derek Lowe.

A special thanks goes out to the offense, not only for backing Lester up, but for giving the exausted bullpen a lead they couldn’t screw up. Tek starting it off with the bases loaded, a couple of doubles thanks to a blinded by the light performance by the corner OFs, Doubles going deep and even Mr. Mendoza line putting up a bomb for good measure. In the end, not even Tavarez could blow this one.

Here’s an interesting statistical comparison:

Player A: .273/.402/.724, 6HR, 30RBI
Player B: .267/.374/.669, 4HR, 22RBI

Player A was Edgar Renteria after June 27 last year. Player B is Alex Gonzalez this year. I know I give Mr. Mendoza Line a lot of crap, but you’ve got to hand it to him, his numbers are very close to Renteria’s at a quarter of the price. Oh, and the man has only ONE SINGLE ERROR this season, as opposed to Renteria’s 14 at this point last year. Keep up the good work A-Gon, I hope you force me to retire your nickname soon.

Tonight, the return of Pedro. Yesterday’s ovation was a nice start, but hopefully Fenway Park can go to 11.

Re-listening to yesterday’s game last night as I fought a nasty bout of insomnia, I noticed an interesting detail. Both saves Paps (Blue Ribbon) has blown were with Belli behind the plate. I don’t know if the rookie isn’t giving Dougie his pancakes and chicken parm, or if the Stud Who Hits Bombs just needs someone new to pick on, but Dougie? This needs to stop.

Still… if everytime PBR blows a save, the Sox still get the W, I’m OK with that.

Apparently WEEI ran a contest to find the best “Dream Ending to ‘86.” The winner had his ending broadcast yesterday. Is this a joke? Why not run other dream ending contests?

• Your dream ending to the 2003 ALCS (hint: PULL PEDRO!)
• Your dream ending to Citizen Kane (a sled, come on?)
• Your dream ending to the 20th century (maybe some real Y2K problems…I wouldn’t mind getting rid of Texas)
• Your dream ending to the Vietnam War (no draft?)

But since they asked here’s mine:

Schiraldi to the set, the 1-0 pitch, here it is…swing and a ground ball, stabbed by Schiraldi. He has it. He underhands to first. And the Boston Red Sox are the World Champions. For the first time in 68 years, the Red Sox have won baseball’s world championship. Can you believe it?

Come up with a real contest next time.

And Papi pulls another Big Papi. No, it wasn’t a home run. But hey, you don’t always need the long ball. In the last two games, Big Papi has won the game in extra innings. I don’t know about you, but this is scarily similar to a couple of games that took place in October of 2004. Let’s recap:

• October 17, 2004: In the 12th inning with a runner on first, Big Papi goes deep to win the game 6-4.
• October 18, 2004: In the 14th inning, with runners on first and second with two outs, Papi hits a single to center to score the leadoff batter who shalt not be named from second and win the game.
• June 24, 2006: In the 10th inning with a runner on first, Big Papi goes deep to win the game 5-3.
• June 26, 2006: In the 12th inning, with runners on first and second with two outs, Papi hits a single to (left) center to score Yooooouuuks (the leadoff batter) from second to win the game 8-7.

For all of the amazing hits Big Papi has (10 regular season, game winning hits since 2003), we do have some business to discuss. I’m not going to go into Paps blowing a save, because in any other park that’s a foul ball. Here’s my question for Tito: do you have memory problems? Do you not remember Seanez blowing this game, or this game? What does this man have to do so you can stop spiking blood pressure of ever member of Red Sox Nation? Seanez has a fastball that Steven Hawkings could drill and a slider that wouldn’t confuse Hellen Keller. So please Tito, NO MORE SEANEZ!

But a Big Papi win, is a Big Papi win. Like parents love their children, I love each of them in different ways. So thank you Big Papi: the most clutch hitter in all of baseball. (And thanks to Youks for tying the game with two outs in the bottom of the 12th. No Jew power, no Papi power.)

4:30 PM PT
In a 7-5 game, Ray Durham of the San Francisco Giants hits a walk-off 3 run home run off of Huston Street. The crowd goes wild. By the time Durham comes out of a curtain call, almost 75% of the crowd was gone, and the rest is wondering who this guy is who is tipping his hat at them.

Let’s go back about 2.5 hours.

2:00 PM PT

It’s the bottom of the tenth inning. The Sox are tied 3-3. Here’s a list of things going on in my head:

• “The only pitchers left in the Sox bullpen are Tavarez and Seanez”
• How did Lil’ Alex Cora get another single?
• Who would win in a fight between David Ortiz and Jack Bauer?
• Did Schilling actually need to strike out 6 in a row today, or was he doing it just to prove to Lester that he’s still got it?
• Has my milk expired?
• Papi can’t really do it again, can he?

After Papi’s 2-run walk-off homerun (his SEVENTH! regular season one in under four full seasons), there was only one thing going through my mind:

• If Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas, then Jack Bauer must wear Big Papi pajamas.

When Papi hits a walk-off, you need nothing short of a class 5 tornado to clear out Fenway prior to at least one curtain call. In almost any other park, once the ball clears the fence the only thing people care about is beating traffic. I could make some comment about about how great Sox fans are, but the truth of the matter is I think I just want to rag on Giants fans.

Dear Trupe,

After listening to you describe Beckett’s near no-no tonight I think we need to remind you of a number of rules for announcing a no-hitter/perfect game. Please keep these in mind the next time the opportunity arises:

1. Do not use the term “perfect” EVER. If you have to give the play-by-play of Angelina Jolie walking in front of you naked during the broadcast, the word perfect is still off limits.

2. You also cannot say any variation of “no-hitter.” It’s about equivalent to telling a girl you just met at a bar that you’re going to be in her pants by the end of the night. Still think you’ve got a shot?

3. Try to show a little enthusiasm. Listening to the 5th inning of today’s game, we would have thought the Sox were losing 15-2 by the monotone voice about to fall asleep. You’ve got a volume control that “goes to 11″, but is missing levels two through ten.

In short, show a little excitement and don’t jinx anybody. Otherwise we’re going to have to send you to jinxing sensitivity training along with Joe Buck.

Sincerely,
You listeners

Hey man, what’s up?

I think you’re in the wrong clubhouse buddy. I’m pretty sure I just struck you out.

Are your parents home little guy?

Hey Papi, do you know him?

Thanks, but we still have five subscriptions to Playboy left over from Millar.

No man, I was on the Sox in 2003. Remember, backup infielder? Back then you said that if I learn how to hit, there may be a regular spot for me here. So I went home, learned how to hit, and went 2-3 today!

THINKS FOR AWHILE.
Hmmm, I think I remember you. Yeah, we may have something for you.

Wait, I got my average over .250 like you asked!

And I’m 4 of my last 5!

TO MENDOZA LINE AND CORA.
Be cool.

OK Damian, we have a little initation ritual now. You do this, and you’re in.

Yeah! Whatever you want, it’s yours.

SNICKERS.

Oh, that. I was hoping you’d have forgotten about that.

Off you go then! And make sure to thank the rookie for allowing you to strike out as you leave.

Thanks to The Dugout for the format.

Great game yesterday. Our second sweep in a row, Papi hits his fifth grand salami and Lester may be the real deal. I’m always skeptical of these “amazing” prospects since so many of them fizzle. But after 10 Ks from Lester and back to back good performances, I’m liking the start of this.

Eleven runs. Eleven. Apparently that’s what it takes for Wake to get a win. Coming into tonight the Sox had scored an average of 3.10 runs per games he started (second worst in the majors). This for a guy who has posted a Quality Start in all but three of his starts this season. Even today he still limited the Nats to one run in six innings.

When the Sox put up six runs in the second, I’m guessing Wake ran into the clubhouse did a little jig, smoked a few cigs and then came back into the dugout and asked everybody if that was all they had. If Lil’ Alex Cora goes 3-3, you know it’s your day.

Due to the fact that I’m stuck 3000 miles from Boston in an office building, I often follow the first few innings of the game with ESPN gamecast. They now have a feature where they animate any ball hit into play. This makes for a number of interesting plays. For example, a single to center often looks like it’s a routine fly ball or a possible home run. Any time the opposing team is at bat and the ball starts down the right field line I’m start thinking “GET AWAY FROM THE PESKY POLE!” Then it ends up being a routine out to center. But then again, it’s no different hearing the same play announced by Trupe.