This years’ Red Sox weren’t exactly what I expected at the beginning of the season. I thought they would be a solid team with a chance at the post-season. Obviously, they underperformed a bit in the second half.

However, with three games left, you suddenly realize that you’re going to miss these guys when it’s over. You’ll miss Manny being Manny, and Papi crushing home runs in the most dire of circumstances. Hopefully those guys will have another chance to knock the MFY off their post. But there are also a few Sox who we have grown to know and love, who may not be back next year. (I’m not arguing with whether or not these guys should get contract extensions. Theo gets to make that decision.)

So I hope the fans who are at Fenway this weekend cheer their hearts out for Trot, Kapler, and Belli. It’s not long ago that Trot hit that bases-clearing double in Game 4 of the World Series; or that Kapler hit a go-ahead home run in a late September game of 2003; or that Belli actually lived up to his nickname of “Stud Who Hits Bombs.” Even though they all SUCKED this year, it will still be sad to probably never see them wear the high red socks again. So if nothing else, let’s enjoy these games for them.

(I hope everybody enjoys the sappy post, you don’t get it often.)

I’m really glad the Red Sox decided to name the right field pole at Fenway the “Pesky Pole.” It took a lot of courage and heart to officially name an object it’s unofficial nickname for the past 50-plus years. I’ve got to agree with Eric Wilbur on this one, the Sox should do the right thing and retire the guy’s number.

You know how a lot of people say that they don’t believe something is real until they tell their Mom/Dad/Granmother/Grandfather/Brother/Sister/etc? Johnny Pesky is that person for the Red Sox. The World Series win wasn’t complete until you saw Pesky celebrate. Papi’s record-breaking home run wasn’t real until he hugged Pesky in the dugout. The guy suits up every day even though he’s 87 (happy birthday by the way!), and hits guys fungos before every game (ankle willing). He may not have had the talent of Williams or Yaz (his six career Fenway home runs prove that), but the guy cares for the Red Sox more than anybody. I doubt he would ever ask for it, but the Sox should do the classy thing and retire his number. Not a soul in Red Sox Nation would complain.

Good: After missing a start, Schilling looked to be in classic form going 7 innings, allowing 1 run and K’ing 9. It was also nice to have Tito bring him out for the 8th only to pull him before making a pitch so he could get a standing ovation. Classy.

Great: The ceremony for Big Papi breaking Jimmie Foxx’s home run record. I wholeheartedly approve of any pre-game ceremony for Big Papi. Hell, I’d be cool with a pre-game ceremony to thank Papi for eating lunch. But it’s really nice to see him giving a big hug to Jimmie Foxx’s daughter and, just for fun, Babe Ruth’s granddaughter. For good measure Papi then hits number 54 last night in route to going 3-4 with 3 RBIs.

Awful: Schilling’s postgame comment:

…if I come back next year.

I can’t take any more bombs, is the season over yet?

Well this is an inauspicious start to the new year of baseball. Three losses, and in addition to being officially eliminiated from the playoffs on Saturday, we’re now in 3rd place in the AL East. It’s just how I imagined this season playing out.

So, rather than dwell on the bad, I’m going to look at the good. Not because I’m an optimist, but because a man could go insane looking at all the bad that’s been happening recently to the Sox.

Remember about a week ago, I posted some goals for the end of the season? I kinda figured you’d forget so here they are:

• Papi to break Jimmy Foxx’s HR record (Check)
• The MFY to screw up badly enough that they can’t set up their pitching staff for a 5 game series (it’s kind of a stretch, I know)
• The Sox to not fall into 3rd place in the AL East
• The White Sox to not make the playoffs (Check)

Well, two outta four aint bad, and the Sox could make it three. Plus, with the recent story that the Big Eunuch is going to miss his next start, there’s a chance we could sidestep our way into all four. It’s possible, right?

A quick announcement before I talk about the Sox. On behalf of Theo, Kapler, Youks, Adam Stern, and all of these guys, I’d like to wish everyone a happy Jewish New Year. Let’s hope this next year of baseball is better than the last. L’shana tova tikatevu.

Now, can somebody please explain to me who pitched for the Red Sox last night? When I turned on Sportscenter I saw this come up on the bottom line:

BOS 7 TOR 1
WP: Tavarez (4-4)
LP: Lilly (14-13)
BOS Tavarez: CG, 7 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 1 K

While I was extremely confused, I knew it had to be true. Why? Because there’s no form of alcohol or drugs that would ever cause a hallucination where I would have a vision of Julian Tavarez pitching a complete game. It’s just too far fetched.

If you are on some crazy drugs then I apologize for the picture above. I thought after such an impressive performance Tavarez finally deserved a picture of him smiling. I know, it’s just as scary as him frowning. I hope not to hear news about somebody jumping out of a window after seeing that picture, because it’s a distinct possibility.

Dear Big Papi,

I’m a little disappointed by your record-breaking home run (#51) last night. First inning? The first pitch you saw from Johan “I don’t lose in the second half of the season” Santana?

Look, I’m not saying that it needed to be a walkoff, although we all love those. But you should have at least given Chris Berman enough time to ruin the moment. Instead of holding back his tears when he hugged you, Johnny Pesky would have been full-out balling if you had made it a little more dramatic. Hell, Johan Santana had time to tip his cap to you.

Even your teammates were a bit annoyed. When you hit your second home run (#52) of the game in the 7th (showoff) to dead center, they gave you the silent treatment.

But you do deserve credit for tying and breaking the Red Sox single season home run record at Fenway against the team that released you. That was a nice touch. So I guess we’ll let the other stuff go. Just make sure to be more dramatic when you break your record next year.

-Red Sox Nation

When I first wrote a post about Papi breaking The Beast’s home run record it read more like an overly emotional novel by one of the Bronte sisters rather than the light atmosphere I’d prefer to keep around here. In all honesty, I was ecstatic to see Papi hit that bomb off of Santana. And watching Johnny Pesky almost start crying as he hugged Ortiz was a great moment. It was the most fun I’ve had watching an Ortiz home run since Game Four, or Game Five, or the first game of the World Series, or the walkoff against Baltimore, or Texas, or…

In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past day, you probably know that David Ortiz (AKA Optimus Papi) tied Jimmie Foxx (AKA The Beast) for the all-time single-season home run record by a Red Sox player. In fitting fashion, the home run (#50) broke a 1-1 tie in the 6th inning. I’ll hold off on the pomp and circumstance in the hopes that Papi gets at least one more before the end of the season.

Of course, this being the 2006 Red Sox, the bullpen blew that lead by allowing seven runs while recording the last six outs. Note to bullpen: 1.167 runs per out is a BAD ratio.

So the MFY are officially the AL East champions for the ninth straight year. Pardon me, I think I’m going to be sick…

The Red Sox are losing to the Twins, I’m shocked. Instead I thought I’d talk about the Red Sox game I watched last night. That would be the Los Angeles Red Sox vs the San Diego Red Sox (or Red Sox Nation Southwest vs. Red Sox Nation Southerwest).

This is one of those games ESPN should have on their “instant classics” TODAY. It had everything: offense, defense, squanders. Oh, and a home run or two.

First, a quick list of all of the former Red Sox who appeared in this game:

• Alan Embree
• Cla Meredith
• Rudy Seanez
• Todd Walker
• Dave Roberts
• Josh Bard
• Mark Bellhorn
• Nomah (This blog is called Dirty Watah after all)

As a Sox fan this game had some poetic justice, because every player who sucked on the Sox, sucked in this game (except for Meredith). When Embree entered the game in the bottom of the 6th and the game tied 4-4, I fully expected that there would not be a tie at the end of the inning. He really did his best too, loading the bases with no outs, but Cla Meredith was able to work out of the jam.

But the real fun came in the bottom of the ninth with the LA Red Sox down 9-5. Yes, that’s four runs. The poets of the baseball world, such as Peter Gammons and in this case Eric Neel, can probably write words that will do this inning justice. I can’t. So instead, I’m just going let a scorecard do the talking:

Yeah, that’s back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs to tie the game. The last time four players hit home runs in succession was 1964. This is the type of thing you’d expect from the 2004 Red Sox, so I guess it’s fitting that about half of that team was playing in this game.

To make sure you couldn’t fall asleep, the San Diego Sox got a two-out run in the top of the 10th. But our old friend Rudy Seanez entered the game for San Diego in the bottom of the 10th. He led off by walking Kenny Lofton, and followed that by grooving one of his famous straight-as-an-arrow fastballs to Nomah on a 3-1 count. No matter what you say about Nomah, he can hit the fastball. And soon Dodger Stadium was going crazy as the ball travelled into the left field pavilion seats.

What is the moral of this story? If you are a San Diego fan, we know your pain. But if you want to watch your Red Sox in a pennant race this year, I highly recommend the NL West. You won’t be disappointed.

A split was all I wanted. A split ensured that the MFY fans could do their little drunk dance elsewhere, and not in front of the Sox. We had a starting rotation of Beckett, Tavarez, Snyder and Jarvis. No chance, right? Well for some unbeknown reason, the Sox, for the first time in about two months, stepped it up and took care of business. Hell, they even won three outta four!

Yes, the season is almost over, but it was a moral victory. Just as when Papi (hopefully) clubs numbers 50 and 51 that will be a moral victory as well. There will be no “Red Sox - Wild Card” t-shirts or hats this year. So let’s enjoy the little things like Jeter ending his hitting streak against Kevin Jarvis. Or Coco robbing Jorge “little bitch” Posada of a 2-run home run in the bottom of the 8th last night. How about Hideki Matsui apologizing to the MFY fans for not clinching the division at home (ok, I made that one up).

So if you’re looking for things to root for at the end of the regular season, I’ve made a list:

• Papi to break Jimmy Foxx’s HR record
• The MFY to screw up badly enough that they can’t set up their pitching staff for a 5 game series (it’s kind of a stretch, I know)
• The Sox to not fall into 3rd place in the AL East
• The White Sox to not make the playoffs