Kim and I went to Oakland last night to see the A’s take on the one and only Tiggers. If MFYankee Stadium is nicknamed “The Toilet” then McAfee/Oakland Coliseum should be “The Outhouse.” I’ve never seen the place so excited. It was like going to a game at Fenway when they’re playing the Devil Rays and the season is already sewn up.

Our seats were out in the bleachers, a little to the left of the guy with the giant drum set. I’ve been to The Outhouse a couple of times, and these are the first seats I’ve had with cushions. I assume they’re the nice ones for football which is pretty sad.

Oakland fans are like Pavlovian dogs, they only cheer when they’re told to. It could be bases loaded with a 3-2 count, the place is silent. But if they flash “NOISE!!!” on the message-board with nobody on and a 1-0 count, the place goes apeshit. This reinforces one of my theories in life…people are stupid.

Good game, great ending. The A’s had the lead twice, 1-0 after the first and 3-1 after the third but couldn’t hold on either time. The Tiggers took the lead for good in the top of the fourth on by “hitting them where they aint” (and one where they are, but Chavez couldn’t hold on).

The real excitement for me both was a result of Tigger pitching. First you’ve got Justin Verlander, who had major control issues. But when you hit 103 MPH (yes, that’s one hundred and three miles per hour) on the gun, it’s pretty incredible. I could hear the glove pop a few times from over 400 feet away. (Quick side note: On July 4th, Kim and I also went to see the Tiggers play the A’s in Oakland. Both Verlander and Zumaya pitched that day, Verlander getting up to 100 and Zumaya 103. We didn’t know much about either pitcher, so we just thought the gun was acting wacky, especially since Zumaya also threw a few pitches at 91 MPH. Turns out, the gun was right. The 91 MPH pitch is just Zumaya’s changeup. Sick.)

The other excitement was courtesy of Todd “I have no right to be closing with Zumaya and Rodney both on this staff” Jones. He strikes out the #8 and 9 batters in the bottom of the ninth and the proceeds to give up three straight singles to load the bases for Frank Thomas. I was rooting for the Tiggers, but part of me thought “how cool would it be for the Big Hurt to go deep and win this on a walkoff grand slam?” He instead popped up to center, but it certainly made things interesting. I also realized that had he hit a home run, we might have been in the middle of a riot, so it’s really a good thing he popped that sucker up.

Go Tiggers!

After my first round predictions I should get LaRussa, Randolph, Leyland and Macha to start a bidding war for me NOT to pick their teams to get to the world series. Anyways, here are my picks:

Tiggers over A’s (6): Frank Thomas aside, there’s very little pop in the A’s lineup. Plus, I think the Tiggers pitching can keep the momentum going from the ALDS.

Mets over Cards (5): Pujols can’t carry the offense for his 8 merry men for too long before they start walking him.

I’ve been waiting all season to use that title.

Amazingly, my first round picks were 0-4. I’d say that I follow baseball pretty closely, but the fact that I couldn’t get one series correct is also what makes it such a great game. The Tiggers can’t beat the Royals at home, and go 19-31 in their last 50 regular season games, but can take 3-4 from the MFYs. The Mets lose arguably their #1 and #2 starters before the NLDS, and manage to sweep the Dodgers, who ended the season on a 6 game winning streak. I can’t wait for the commercial where somebody tries to take the bottle of booze away from Tommy Lasorda so he’ll watch the NLCS.

A few thoughts for the MFYs:

• There’s always next year
• I really hope Joe Torre ends up being the scapegoat. He’s far and away one of the best managers in baseball. If Pinella was managing this years’ team, the Sox would have been in the hunt until the final weekend.
• A-Fraud’s series: 1-14 (a single), 0 R, 0 RBI, 0 BB, 4 K
• You have to wonder if Judas is really the clubhouse glue that everybody says, or just a moron. With the MFY trailing late in the fourth game at Detroit he was in the dugout smiling. So, he’s either that stupid, or, an embedded Red Sox. Sadly, I think it’s the former.
• Just some quick math. The Marlins $15M payroll bought them 162 games. The MFY $200M payroll bought them 166 games. That’s $46M a playoff game.
• “We’re going to win [the World Series] this year.” — George Steinbrenner, 2/22/06

As for the Tiggers, they deserve a lot of credit. Sure, they played well, but that champagne celebration was awesome. All the fans staying to cheer on the team as they came back out. Kenny Rogers pouring champagne on a cop’s head. Plus, I loved that they carried Jim Leyland off the field. I hope they kick the crap out of the A’s.

Great line from A-Rod today:

My chin is up. My chin isn’t going anywhere.

I think one Mr. Jason Varitek would respectfully disagree with you.

So far, my playoff predictions aren’t looking too hot:

There’s no way Santana can win two games now, although the Twins may have the A’s right where they want them. (See: 2001 A’s ALDS, 2003 A’s ALDS.)

It would be a little difficult for the Padres to win the series in four games now, after losing the first two at home. Since I feel kinda bad for them, I will suggest one piece of advice: stop pitching to Pujols! Are you stupid?

The Tiggers looked like crap in game one, but actually held their own in game two. I still think the MFY will take the series in four. Remember, the Tiggers game two starter, Kenny Rodgers, is the reason they’re the Wild Card team and not the AL Central champs.

As for the Dodgers, well, it’s the same old Grady. The man cannot manage a bullpen. Here’s the quote from my conversation with Kim as soon as I saw that Penny was entering the game:

I’d put money down that Brad Penny gets the L in this game

And that double play was a thing of legends. TWO players out at the plate? It’s like they’ve got Grady Little managing AND Dale Sveum coaching third. I can’t imagine another third base coach stupid enough to run two runners into an out. But I think the best description of the play was from Kim:

I just watched the Dodger double play at the plate. I love how LoDuca looks up and oh my god, there’s another guy there!

Go Blue?

We all know the story of this years’ Boston Red Sox. They started out hot, couldn’t break away from the pack, slowed down and suddenly got Ken Griffey Jr. disease. Before you know it there was the Boston Massacre and a third place finish. So let’s look back on the individual accomplishments of the 2006 Boston Red Sox:

Schilling (15-7, 3.97 ERA, 183 Ks): Got his 200th win and 3000th strikeout this season. However, what may be more impressive than his ERA or masterful 15 wins was the fact that he stayed healthy almost the entire year. That’s tough for a pitcher who grew up pitching to a brontosaurus.

Beckett (16-11, 5.01 ERA, 158 Ks): If the price of not going on the DL all season with blister problems is a 5.01 ERA, I’ll take the DL. I know Fenway can boost a pitcher’s ERA, but giving up 36 home runs is just pathetic. So I think the solution is he has to wear a garter belt next year.

Wakefield (7-11, 4.63 ERA, 90 Ks): The next time Joe Morgan tells you that wins are the most important statistic for a pitcher, Wakefield in 2006 should be exhibit A. I think Sox fans realized what a value Wake is to the team this year when he went on a long DL stint and the Sox fell apart. It’s also a shame that it disproves the theory that you can stay healthy with a strict workout of 3 beers and a pack a day.

Clement (5-5, 6.61 ERA, 43 Ks): Woah, I forgot this guy even pitched for the Red Sox this season.

Wells (2-3, 4.98 ERA, 24 Ks): The fat man giveth and the fat man taketh away. Can you imagine what this team might have looked like if Boomer was the #5 starter instead of Johnson, Snyder or DiNardo in the first half of the season? Maybe the Sox could have ended in 2nd place! (Yeah, I’m just a little bitter that he was hurt, finally got it together and bolted for a playoff team.)

Lester (7-2, 4.76 ERA, 60 Ks): The kid(yeah, I get to call him a kid cause he’s the only player on the roster younger than I am) was an escape artist on the mound. It’s almost like he didn’t want to pitch if the bases weren’t loaded. If his ability to get out of jams even barely works in his non-pitching life, he’s got this cancer thing beat. Let’s hope we see more of him on the mound next season.

Snyder (4-5, 6.02 ERA, 55 Ks): Sorry, the Sox are only allowed one blonde mop-head in the dugout and Schilling called it.

Johnson (0-4, 7.36 ERA, 18Ks): The Jason Johnson experiment was about as much a success as combining bleach and ammonia.

DiNardo (1-2, 7.88 ERA, 17Ks): Who?

Tavarez: I gave up on trying to understand this guy. He’s even more nuts than Manny, and for the most part pitched like crap. But since the Sox had another year on his contract, he became the Sox fifth starter and ended the season 3-0, 3.52 ERA in 5 starts.

Seanez: Kick me in the nuts.

Timlin: If there was ever a case for “The World Baseball Classic was a bad idea,” Mike Timlin would be your poster boy. Started well, got dead arm, and never fully returned. The worst part is at the end of the season the Sox expected him to close. The man couldn’t close a car door, but he was supposed to shut down the MFY lineup? Right.

Delcarmen and Hansen: I’m clumping these two together because I think they both had similar seasons. Both of them had very promising starts, and then kinda fell apart. I’m just hoping that they got tired and started to break down, and not that the league caught up with them.

Papelbon (0.92 ERA, 35 Sv, 75 Ks): Lights out on the mound, and a riot off. Far and away the brightest spot in a very young bullpen. For Christ’s sakes, the guy ended the season with an ERA UNDER ONE! Plus, “[he]’s a fucking genius.”

Tek (.238/.325/.400, 12 HR): We may have complained about Tek’s black hole in the lineup this season (until we met Doug Mirabelli), but I think this stat speaks for itself. Record without Tek: 12-24, record with Tek: 74-52.

Belli (.193/.261/.342, 6 HR): The man practically got his own parade when he returned. I, for one, thought it was a great deal at the time. I guess Theo and I can be wrong together.

Youks (.279/.381/.429, 13 HR): Aside from PBR, the best success story of the year for the Sox. Consistent with the bat (including a few clutch hits), and gold-glove caliber defense. What more do you want from a “rookie”? He may not have the power of Hammerin’ Hank Greenberg, and he doesn’t have the golden arm of Sandy Koufax, but he certainly makes the rest of the members of the Tribe look good.

Loretta (.285/.345/.361, 5 HR): The guy was like vanilla ice cream, never fantastic, just good and steady. For a second basemen, that’s all you can ask for…the problem is that he was also our DH for a bunch of games in August. That’s like trying to serve that vanilla ice cream for desert at a $1000 a plate dinner, it just doesn’t cut it. I can guarantee there will be a few games next season when we’ll miss him though.

Gonzalez (.255/.299/.397, 9 HR): Best…defense…ever. Makes Jeter look like a couch at shortstop.

Lil’ Alex Cora (.238/.312/.298, 1 HR — by divine intervention off Alex Rios’ glove): Umm, keep up the good work?

Lowell (.284/.339/.475, 20 HR): Doubles (47)! Plays (22)! Truly the gem (for the Sox) of the Beckett-Lowell/Hanley-Sanchez trade. He had a great rebound season and his defense was amazing. It’s always fun to watch a guy purposely drop a line drive in the hopes of being able to start a triple play. Too bad it didn’t work out this year. If only the guy could run faster than a refrigerator doing the 100 yard dash, he might have set the record for most doubles in a season.

Hinske (.288/.352/.425, 1 HR): Thanks for the 3 2B in your first game in a Sox jersey against the MFY. I’m still pissed at you for striking out with the winning run on third and one out in the bottom of the 9th two days later when I was in the stands.

Ramirez (.321/.439/.619, 35 HR): Remember at the beginning of the season when it took him 16 games to hit a home run, so all of RSN was freaking out that he had lost it? The guy only turned around to be the Sox best overall hitter. I guess it’s just another year of Manny being Manny. Please, please, let us enjoy two more years of the same.

Coco (.264/.317/.385, 8 HR): A name does not a player make. He made some amazing catches, but most of the time his routes to fly balls were about as circuitous as a drunk guy stumbling for the bathroom. I just hopeful that his finger never really recovered, cause otherwise I am not looking forward to three more years of this.

Trot (.268/.373/.394, 8 HR): This guy became the epitome of “warning track power.” The amazing part is, it didn’t matter what stadium he was in, he always got it just not far enough. It will still be a shame to see him leave though (as it is with all the members of the 2004 Sox). Fans will miss the dirty hat, the dirty helmet and the dirty jersey; because he never played a game without sliding somewhere.

Wily Mo (.301/.349/.489, 11 HR): Would you rather have 11 home runs and an outfielder whose worse tracking fly balls than I am, or a 3.29 ERA? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Kapler (.254/.340/.354, 2 HR): I’ll be honest, if his nickname wasn’t “The Hebrew Hammer,” I doubt I’d have such a soft spot for him. He can’t hit, he not a great defender, and he’s not that fast. But he’s from LA, he’s a Jew, and he was nice to me when I met him. So let’s bring him back and burn another roster spot next season! Anybody, anybody?

Papi (.287/.413/.636, 54 HR): MVP.

So for all the comparisons this year about the Sox and Major League (Papelbon with the inappropriate “Wild Thing” as his entrance music, Wily Mo as Pedro Serrano), the real team that deserves the comparison is the Marlins. In case you forgot, here’s the plot summary:

The new owner… puts together a purposely horrible team so they’ll lose and she can move the team.

Now, in Major League, the owner is talking about moving out of Miami, not to Miami, and I really hope they didn’t have a pin-up picture of Jeffrey Loria in the clubhouse. Still, with an opening day payroll of $14,998,500, the Marlins weren’t looking to do a lot of winning.

So what happens? Girardi manages the team to an impressive (under the circumstances) 78-84 record and gets rewarded by getting fired. Next year James Gammon for manager!

All right, the Marlins can have Major League, we’ll keep Josh LaLoosh and Bull Durham. If only we’d realized it earlier, we could have sacrificed the live chicken for Renteria’s glove instead of Wily Mo’s bat.

Don’t worry, I’ll post my recap of the end of the season soon. Since the playoffs start in 25 minutes, I thought I should get these up first. Oh, and I’ll go round by round, cause it’s no fun when your World Series champions go out in 3 games. So, without further ado:

• MFY over Tiggers in 4 (and that’s being generous)
• Twinkies over A’s in 5 (Santana gets 2 wins, Nathan gets the other)
• Pods over Cards in 4
• Dodgers over Mets in 4 (El Duque is no Pedro)