If anybody is looking for a small Patriots jersey, don’t look on the patriots.com Proshop. Well, unless you want a Chinese Brady jersey, since it’s the only option in a small. Coincidence? I kinda doubt it. (Cue Monty Python.)

Dear Green Bay,

I’m sorry we broke Brett Favre. Well, all of us except for Rodney. The guy just won’t go down. As for Aaron Rogers… oops.

Love,
New England

Rumors of Tom Brady’s demise have been greatly exaggerated. If anybody is wondering why he was still in the game with a 28-0 lead in the fourth quarter the answer is simple, my fantasy team needed the points.

Belichick must have decided to lose the games to the Colts and the Jets on purpose to motivate his team for the playoffs. Otherwise, how can Rodney Harrison claim the Patriots were disrespected?

Favre wasn’t the only casualty on Sunday. For the third time in five years, Donavan McNabb is out with a season-ending injury. I bet they wish they had Vinny Testaverde now!

Did anybody else catch the International Space Station interview on Discovery HD? Although completely unrelated from the Red Sox, holy shit that was cool. So where’s the connection you ask? During most of the interview, the astronaut’s clothes could be seen behind him. There was a “GO NAVY BEAT ARMY” pennant, and also a Red Sox sweatshirt pinned up.

There’s no need to spend $51.1M to get a foothold in the Japanese market. If Theo was smart, he’d start going after the aliens.

In some respects, the Hot Stove season is more fun than the real season. Every team thinks they are improving. Then, starting April 1st, about half of those teams hopes and dreams are crushed (I’m just a happy go lucky guy). That’s what makes this whole Matisyahu thing so much fun. Right now this guy is being compared to Roy Halladay, Brandon Webb, Chris Carpenter, Petey and a few others. Not too shabby. Is he worth $51.1M just to talk to? Hey, it’s not my money!

I enjoyed Surviving Grady’s post on the changes to Fenway as a result of Matisyahu. I think they missed a few though:

• The Green Monster will now be called Godzilla
• Thundersticks will be mandatory at every game (please no)
• Free shot of sake with each beer (SAKE BOMB!)

Theo better not start negotiations with Boras and Matisyahu in that shirt.

I also dropped the ball on Foulke becoming a free agent. You would have to be wearing glasses that replayed the 2004 post season to believe that he was a helpful member of the bullpen the past two years. I’m in the camp that believes he blew out his arm that year throwing 100 pitches in 3 consecutive nights to save the Sox World Series hopes. Criticizing him would be like throwing Papi under the bus if he didn’t perform well after the 2004 World Series. Foulke was that important to the team in 04. So unlike most Sox fans who are saying “good riddance” to Foulke, I’d prefer to say “Good luck, you deserve it. Oh, and thank you.”

Well, it looks like we’ve got ourselves a hot stove here! So, without further ado…

1. According to a number of reports, the Sox have won the blind bidding for the chance, albeit a small one, to WIN BEN STEIN’S MONEY. No, wait, that’s not it. For a mere estimated $40M, they bought the chance to sign highly touted Japanese pitcher, Daisuke Matsuzaka. For some reason I have a tough time pronouncing his name, so from now own I think I’m just going to call him Matisyahu. Just because one is a gyroball-throwing pitcher and the other is a Hasidic Jewish reggae artist, I don’t see why they can’t have the same name.

With the lack of “sure thing” pitchers on the free agent market, this is as good as it can get this off season. He’s young (26), and throws 90mph with SICK movement. Wouldn’t you rather have that than Schmitt (who’s up there in years) or Zito (who cares more about his acting career)? That’s what I thought.

2. J.D. Drew opted out of his 5 year, $55M contract with the Dodgers. Many Sox fans seem to be all over this guy, I’m not. He’s extremely brittle, and put up good, but not amazing numbers in the NL Worst, errr, West. So with Bor-ass as his agent, he’s going to be looking long-term and that’s always dangerous with an injury-prone player (see Martinez, Pedro). I’d rather find a low-risk, high reward player to platoon with Wily Mo. Remember, we’re still waiting for that deal to pay off.

3. With the current popularity of Sasha Baron Cohen’s “Borat,” I would love to see Boras walk into negotiations and act like Borat. (”Please, make deal for player. If it not success, I will be execute!”) I think he’d scare the team so much that they’d just end up throwing money at him. No? Okay, but it’d be pretty damn funny.

Until next time when Theo make benefit glorious nation of Red Sox.

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted. Believe it or not, the outrage is not from the 83 victory Cardinals winning the World Series. Although that is pretty disgusting. (Quick side note, the MVP of the World Series should have been the Tigers defense, in particular Brandon Inge. Nobody seems to realize that while the throws to third were bad, he was awful at giving the pitcher any decent sized target. If Doubles was at third for the Tiggers, both throws would have become outs instead of run scoring errors.)

No, here’s what I’m upset about. 66 errors, 0 gold gloves. The Major League record set by the 2003 Mariners for fewest error in a season was 65. That team was awarded FOUR gold gloves. The 2006 Red Sox, zero GG. Instead, Derek Jeter wins his (I hope you’re ready to vomit) THIRD STRAIGHT GG. I’m not questioning whether or not he can hit, but there’s no question that he has the range of a couch at short. This would be like giving Heather Graham an Emmy for “Best acting an a comedy series.” I know she’s pretty, but she’s not funny. I should just be glad I didn’t need anybody to hold my hair back when I heard about this.

And now for something completely different…this will be my first year writing this blog with no baseball going on. So the plan is to keep it up about once a week, or whenever a big hot stove story hits. Sound good?