Well, it looks like we’ve got ourselves a hot stove here! So, without further ado…

1. According to a number of reports, the Sox have won the blind bidding for the chance, albeit a small one, to WIN BEN STEIN’S MONEY. No, wait, that’s not it. For a mere estimated $40M, they bought the chance to sign highly touted Japanese pitcher, Daisuke Matsuzaka. For some reason I have a tough time pronouncing his name, so from now own I think I’m just going to call him Matisyahu. Just because one is a gyroball-throwing pitcher and the other is a Hasidic Jewish reggae artist, I don’t see why they can’t have the same name.

With the lack of “sure thing” pitchers on the free agent market, this is as good as it can get this off season. He’s young (26), and throws 90mph with SICK movement. Wouldn’t you rather have that than Schmitt (who’s up there in years) or Zito (who cares more about his acting career)? That’s what I thought.

2. J.D. Drew opted out of his 5 year, $55M contract with the Dodgers. Many Sox fans seem to be all over this guy, I’m not. He’s extremely brittle, and put up good, but not amazing numbers in the NL Worst, errr, West. So with Bor-ass as his agent, he’s going to be looking long-term and that’s always dangerous with an injury-prone player (see Martinez, Pedro). I’d rather find a low-risk, high reward player to platoon with Wily Mo. Remember, we’re still waiting for that deal to pay off.

3. With the current popularity of Sasha Baron Cohen’s “Borat,” I would love to see Boras walk into negotiations and act like Borat. (”Please, make deal for player. If it not success, I will be execute!”) I think he’d scare the team so much that they’d just end up throwing money at him. No? Okay, but it’d be pretty damn funny.

Until next time when Theo make benefit glorious nation of Red Sox.