I’m not going to talk about football. When you lose 21-0 to the Dolphins, you also lose any chance of me discussing the game. But, what do we have here? Red Sox news! Where to begin…

It looks like Gabe Kapler is going to try his best to become the next Johnny Pesky. At the ripe old age of 31, Kapler is retiring and will manage the Red Sox Single-A team in Greenville, SC. If you can’t appreciate a guy who love the Sox organization so much that he wants to manage in Single-A, this isn’t the right sport for you. I feel bad for Youks though. With Adam Stern being traded to the Orioles and Kapler going down to South Carolina, I can just picture Youks lighting his menorah all by himself on Friday night.

Continuing the thread of “players that were great in 2004, but now can’t hit the side of a brick wall,” Doug Mirabelli has been signed to a one year contract. I know the tradition is to have the DH bat in place of the pitcher, but I’m really wondering if Wake can hit better than Belli can. Remember, he’s now known as Stud Who Grounds into Double Plays.

One more thing…

It’s not like I’m going to forget about Matisyahu. I’ve been following the “negotiations” over the past couple days, and it’s been nothing short of painful. Here’s a quick recap I’ve put together, all quotes courtesy of boston.com:

• Mon, 11:30pm EST: “A feisty John W. Henry, frustration evident in his voice, said: ‘I think it’s also fair to say we’re on Scott Boras’s doorstep because he hasn’t negotiated with us so far. We’re taking the fight directly to him to try to have a negotiation here.’”
• Tues, 1:00am EST: “[I]f Daisuke Matsuzaka is on John Henry’s plane tomorrow, the Sox have a deal. If he isn’t, it’s over, and he’s going back to Japan.”
• Tues, 8:42pm EST: “The sides are meeting — Daisuke Matsuzaka was not present”
• Tues, 9:30pm EST: “The word from someone with a direct window on the Daisuke Matsuzaka negotiations: ‘No progress.’”
• Wed, 12:06am EST: “[A]n evening meeting between the Sox and agent Scott Boras has already broken up, suggesting that an impasse remains between the sides. The evening session lasted just 40 minutes”
• Wed, 2:47am EST: “‘No chance’ of deal being made tonight”
• Wed, 3:01am EST: “[A] source with direct ties to negotiations said that ‘dialogue continues’ between the two sides.”
• Wed, 3:03pm EST: “The Red Sox contingent in Southern California is currently flying back to Boston with pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka and his agent, Scott Boras, on board. ‘You can assume that a deal is done or close,’ said one source with direct knowledge of the talks.”
• Wed, 5:30pm EST:John Henry’s plane lands at Hanscom Field to a large crowd. From SoSH: “Huge media contingent and one station said a bunch of people showed up just in time to see the arrival. Many college students from Tufts were there with signs and parents with children.” (Anytime I can, you bet I’ll mention my Alma Mater.)

So in about a day and a half they went from not speaking, to sharing a 5 hour jet ride. This is damn good drama. If only we could have had it on TV, and added in Jack Bauer somewhere, I think it could easily have beaten out House in the ratings last night. [Low Blow Warning!] Too bad Scott Boras couldn’t have been on a separate plane piloted by Corey Lidle. [/Warning] I’m just kidding, I would never wish that on Corey.

Anyways, it looks like the sun will shine in Massachusetts after all and Christmi-chanu-kwanzi-ka will be saved. The only question left is how quickly Daisuke jerseys will fly off the shelves in the next week (oh yeah, and his salary)?

Hello again sports fans. Yes, it’s been quite awhile since Dirty Watah has seen any activity, but with the hot stove starting to warm a bit, and the Patriots fighting for a playoff spot, it seemed like a good time for an update.

So, in honor of everybody’s favorite Turkey-filled holiday, I thought it would be appropriate to go with a “things I am thankful for” theme. Of course, I’m also a bitter pessimist, so along with the things I’m thankful for, you get the things that need to be improved (e.g. sucks):

Thankful: The Sox winning the bidding rights for Matisyahu for a mere $51.1M. (And you all thought I would forget about his nickname, shame on you.)

Sucks: The Sox looking to trade Manny…again. You really think that you can replace his consistent .310 AVG, 40 HR and 100 RBIs? If you were about to say “JD Drew,” then just stop reading. It makes no sense to pay injury prone Drew $56M over 4 years, when the Sox wouldn’t pay Judas $52M. Ask any Dodger fan and they will tell you to stay far far away. Don’t get me started on Julio Lugo.

Thankful: The Sox signing southpaw Hideki Okajima, the 30 year-old Japanese reliever who went 2-2 with a 2.14 ERA in 55 games in the Japanese league last year. Why is this good? Because it only costs the Sox $2.5M over the next two years with a $1.75M option for 2007. Compare that to some of the other free agent relievers on the market:

• LaTroy Hawkins, RHP, 1 year/$3.5M
• Chad Bradford (yes, the same Chadford), RHP, 3 years/$10.5M
• Danys Baez, RHP, 3 years/$19M
• Jamie Walker, LHP, 3 years/$12M (oh, and he’s 35)

$1.25M doesn’t look so bad, huh?

Sucks: Re-singing Mike Timlin for a year. I think even Okajima can spell “burnt-out.”

Thankful: The Patriots beating the Chicago Bears in Foxboro…
Sucks: …despite FOUR turnovers.

Thankful: Brady escaping Brian Urlacher with about as much dexterity as Screech from “Saved by the Bell.” Oh, and the first-down signal was a nice touch.

Sucks: Junior Seau, we barley knew ye. Really a shame to watch him end his season on what looked to be a routine tackle. Here’s the good news for Junior: when the Pats win their second game in Miami this season, he’ll get a pretty ring. (Hey, I can’t be pessimistic ALL the time.)

Even though it’s a little late, happy thanksgiving to everyone. It’s just too bad that ballplayers don’t have big sales on Black Friday like Target does.