We’re inching ever closer to the best day of the winter: the first game of spring training. (Normally I would say it’s the day pitchers and catchers report, but I dropped the ball on that, so I’ll make up a new best day.) Spring training is one of my favorite times of the year. Every team thinks they have a shot, no matter if your the Red Sox or the Royals. And the beauty is, even if you suck in pre-season you get to say that spring training isn’t a good indicator of the regular season anyway. Basically, everybody thinks they’re a winner. What a waste of time.

You know who else thinks spring training is a waste of time? Actually, let’s make this a multiple choice question:

• Manny
• Manny
• All of the above
• None of the above

If you chose the last one you’re either a moron, or don’t follow baseball (which, by default, makes you a moron anyways!). As usual, Manny will be late to Spring Training this season. This time it’s because his mother just had surgery. I’m guessing the conversation with Theo went something like this:

MANNY: Hey, Theo, I’m gonna be a few days late to camp. Is that OK?

THEO: Sure, no problem. Any reason?

MANNY: Well my grandmother isn’t doing too hot, she’s got to have surgery.

THEO: You mean the grandmother who died a few years ago.

MANNY: Yeah! You remember her!

THEO (sighs): I’ll see you March 1st.

At least there’s still Manny’s babysitter, Big Papi: “Manny is still crazy I’m still babysitting him. Same thing.”