Two games, two different results. Let’s start with Saturday.

I had an amazing revelation as I watched the offense screw Timmeh out of another win…I was confident. Down 2-0, 3-0, 3-1, I honestly thought the Sox had a good chance to come back and win the game. Maybe it was because I heard more Sox chants than MFY chants in the Bronx, maybe it was because their pitcher looked like he should be the evil villain in a B-movie from China (especially with those sunglass, it wasn’t even sunny outside), maybe it’s because the MFY players looked like they were waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I really thought up until the last out that the Sox would come back.

I really do think they could have come back if not for an umpire who wanted to make his dinner reservations and called Coco out on three pitches that were about 2, 3 and 5 inches off the outside corner. Coco had every right to go apeshit, and I’m kind of glad he did. More often than not batters will be pissed and walk off, but by making a stink I hope MLB reviews Froemming’s strike zone and reprimands him for it. Especially when Wake wasn’t getting ANY of those calls.

Two great McCarverisms from Saturday:

1. “The one thing A-Rod is doing this year that he never did last year was smile” (And I thought it was get hits in clutch situations).
2. “Mariano Rivera’s success is measured in broken bats” (Too bad ERA and WHIP don’t mean anything).

Today was a game of unexpected heros. For the MFY, Malphabet went deep to give the MFY as 3-2 lead. But the Sox had Freddy Kruger and Lil’ Alex Cora. Kruger gave the Terry Francona all he could have hoped for by going 5 IP and giving up only 3 runs. (We know Timmeh, you did the same thing but didn’t get any run support). Cora was the real star though. He gets the ground out to push the Sox lead to 2-0 in the 3rd. Then he bloops a HR to right to give the Sox a 4-3 lead in the 5th. (Only in Yankee Stadium can you “bloop” a home run). In the 7th he got the Sox a much needed insurance run by hitting a triple and scoring. It’s always fun to beat the MFY “ace” with our number five starter.

The Sox have taken the first five of six against the MFY. Going into May, you can’t ask for much more than the best record in baseball (16-8) and a 6.5 game lead over the last place MFY. That’s got a nice ring to it.

If Daiske is getting paid to make MFY fans shut up, it comes out to be about $1800 per fan ($103M/55005). The Sox better open up that checkbook, cause he certainly did his job last night. Much like his game against the Blue Jays, he totally lost command in the 4th and let the MFY score four runs to take a 4-2 lead. But if his numerous commercial spots teach us anything, it’s that Daiske loves the pressure and managed to put the bad inning behind him and finish off 6 innings against the Yanks.

I don’t know if you want to credit the Sox offense or the MFY atrocious pitching for our runs, but either way 11 runs should put a smile on your face. Pettite looked nothing like the guy who held the Sox to two runs over 7.1 innings last weekend (6.1 starting, 1 in relief). Instead, he lasted only 4.2 and gave up five runs. Way to help out your bullpen Andy.

Mariano also made an appearance a lengthy appearance where he retired one Red Sox…and let four reach base. Mo seems to have gotten off to a slow start the past couple of years, but with an ERA above 12, Georgie-boy may actually want to panic this time. Of course, he should already be panicking that his team is in last place by 6.5 games.

I was actually following the end of this game from the packed house at McAfee stadium watching the scintillating match-up between the A’s and the Devil Rays. As a Sox fan I had a huge dilemma in the 5th inning when Lenny DiNardo was facing New England’s own Carlos Pena. Who do I root for? It’s like watching Pedro face Nomar! OK, not quite. Besides the announcers and the managers, I was probably the only person in the stadium who knew who Lenny DiNardo was. What do you expect? We were about 40,000 short of Yankee Stadium last night.

As Sox fans, we rarely get to smile because we’re always wondering when the collapse will come. It may come this year too (especially if we have to get Lenny DiNardo back), but you’d better be enjoying this while you can.

First, this whole bloody/painted sock thing really needs to stop. But you’ve got to love Kevin Millar’s take on the situation: he painted his sanitary sock red before going out for stretching last night. Sometimes I really miss that guy. Of course, he then rips three fastballs foul, Ks on a changeup, and suddenly I don’t miss him so much.

Speaking of people who can only hit the fastball, welcome back Wily-Mo! Hitting an 8th inning grand-slam to take the lead certainly gets you back in the good graces of Red Sox Nation. Chris Ray apparently didn’t read the scouting report, because this is what he said about the grand-slam:

I tried to go inside and didn’t go inside far enough, and he was just sitting on a fastball.

I’ll give you some free advice Chris, Wily-Mo is ALWAYS sitting on a fastball. He doesn’t know how to sit on anything else.

Beckett looked really good again, and became the first pitcher to get five wins this season. This new Josh “I can throw the changeup for strikes” Beckett is much more enjoyable to watch than the Josh “see if you can hit this fastball” Beckett. How good is he right now? Well, let’s take a look at the fun-but-completely-useless-statistics folder and see what we can find. Ah! Here you go:

The tubes we commonly refer to as “the internet” have been abuzz today over Orioles’ TV announcer Gary Thorne’s comments about Schilling’s bloody sock. According to him:

The great story we were talking about the other night was that famous red stocking that he wore when they finally won, the blood on his stocking. Nah. It was painted. Doug Mirabelli confessed up to it after. It was all for PR. Two ball, two strike count.

This has gotten completely out of hand. Reporters have asked Schilling, Mirabelli, even Orlando Cabrera…in Anaheim! Larry Lucchino has made a statement. Bill Morgan (the doctor who performed the suture on Schilling) has been on talk shows. People, get over it! You want a news story? How about this. Alex Cora hit a home run last night. No miracles from Alex Rios necessary this time.

I know there’s a lot of media coverage around the Sox, but this doesn’t need to be a soap opera. Instead, I want to watch baseball games. Remember folks, the Sox won yesterday. That should be the most important thing.

If you find yourself screaming NOOOOOO every time Wily-Mo is at bat or the ball is hit to him, you’re not alone. Whether you’re frustrated by the fact that he can’t lay off a single fucking offspead pitch, or the fact that he looks like a kite on a windy day trying to field a fly ball, we can help. There are others like you. Please call the Wily-NOOOOOO Pena hotline at (617) 226-6000 to speak to a professional.

…is about as accurate as calling a Yugo a fashionable and reliable automobile. Lugo managed to leave eight runners on base. That’s just Julio, not the entire team. And when you realize that he’s the leadoff batter, it means that for one of his at bats he didn’t even have the opportunity to bat with runners on.

Yesterday was a letdown game, no doubt about it. You sweep three games from the MFY, all in exciting fashion, and suddenly the Blue Jays and Tomo Ohka don’t look quite as menacing. At the same time, when the Sox trot out the bullpen arms of Pinata, Romero and Timlin, they don’t look very menacing either. We should just be glad that Timlin wasn’t killed by the line drive from Greg Zaun. That hit had Matt Clement/Bryce Florie written all over it.

Following this weekends sweep, there were far too many headlines and video clips not to ignore. Without further ado, we have the headlines:

The video of the back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs:

Friday’s highlights:

Sunday’s highlights:

And finally, my absolute favorite. This is the radio call of Tek’s home run to complete the b2b2b2b HR’s as heard on ESPN Deportes. Jon Miller’s got nothing on Ernesto Jerez:

Is it October yet? Living in California, the weather certainly isn’t a good indicator, so I usually rely on the intensity of the baseball season. That game felt like October baseball. Andy Pettite pitching in relief? The MFY so desperate for hitting that they used their emergency catcher? If games like this don’t get your blood pumping, then I’m guessing you’re already dead.

I had an entire post planned ripping Joe Morgan. I had pages and pages of stupid things he said over the course of the game to critique. This game was so intense that I don’t need any Morganisms to help me through a post.

Dice-K had moments in this game where he looked like a toad, and moments when he looked like a prince. Just for clarification, hitting A-Rod in the first inning was prince-like, not toad-like.

ESPN showed a hilarious shot of Tavarez talking Dice-K’s ear off during the Friday night game. Dice-K looked like he was praying for his cell phone to ring so he could say “I need to take this.” But it does explain where the toads come from.

The pendulum that was this game swung back to the Sox side right around when there were two outs in the 3rd inning. Manny hits one on Lansdowne (”Nice of him to get his swing back…too bad he couldn’t do it with runners on.”). Drew hits one over the bullpen (”Hey, we’re only down by one.”). Lowell also breaks somebody’s windshield on Lansdowne (”Holy shit, this thing’s tied up!”). Tek goes into the Monster seats (Disbelief. High-fiving. Screaming, like when people hit 7-7-7 on the slot machines in Vegas after deciding to put in $1 instead of the nickel slots they had been playing).

Four batters, 10 pitches, back-to-back-to-back-to-back home runs. Fenway was going crazy. The dugout looked like a drunken frat party. If you were in a library following this game you better have been kicked out for going nuts. Suddenly the Sox had a 4-3 lead.

By the 7th, the Sox had already lost the lead and were down 5-4. That’s when Mike Lowell reminded us of what a stud he can be in the 7th with a go-ahead 3-run shot just over the red “home run line” on the Monster. Considering what he can do with only one ball, he makes all grown men feel like we are wasting our potential. Thanks a lot Mike.

But home runs alone do not define this Sox team. The last two innings were pitching and defense. Defense in the 8th when Pedroia made a Superman-like dive to snare a line drive that would have tied the game. As for pitching, well, we’ve got Paps.

The Sox swept the MFY at Fenway for the first time since 1990. They won all the games with seven runs (7-6, 7-5, 7-6). I think it’s a sign that I should start playing the slots.

Don’t worry Sox fans, I didn’t leave this game in the bottom of the 1st with the Sox down by two, or in the bottom of the 2nd with the Sox down by two again.

Tito has been doing a great job recently, but pitching Josh Beckett the day after 4-20 was probably a mistake. Josh wasn’t fooling anybody either, wearing a hemp necklace on the mound. Just cause you didn’t get to wear the green jerseys yesterday doesn’t mean you get to smoke the green the night before your start. He did a great job to work out of the haze and get his command back by the 3rd.

I hope he shared whatever he had with Papi, cause like most games, the Sox go as Papi goes. He tied the game up at 2 in the 1st with a double, and with two down in the 4th and a one run lead he curled a ball inside the Pesky Pole to give the Sox a three run cushion. Also, don’t forget Okajima who struck out Giambi in the 7th with runners and 1st and 2nd and a 2 run game. Okajima still scares me, but if Tito won’t go to Paps in the 7th, I don’t think there’s anybody in the bullpen I trust more.

So Joshua, what we’ve learned today is that Papi is your friend and that unlike David Wells you don’t want to pitch while hungover.

Uhm…what? Everyone who turned off the game in the top of the 8th only to catch the top of the 9th, please raise your hand. Crap, apparently that’s just Kim and I. (And Kim is mighty pissed at me.)

I should have known this game would be bizarre with the Sox wearing their St. Patty’s Day green jerseys. Getting Rivera to blow a four run lead in the 8th has got to be the luck of the Irish.

The first seven and a half innings were Mr. April time. He crushed everything. Two HR, four RBIs and three runs scored. I’m a little pissed at Schilling for not trying to bush him back. Slappy looks like he may as well bring a lay-z-boy chair and a pitcher of margaritas into the batter’s box cause he’s that comfortable.

If you’ve ever wondered why Dusty Baker is in the booth instead of the dugout, it’s because he believes that the MFY 3rd inning was perfect baseball. (Single, single, sac bunt, ground out – run scores, walk, fly out). You’ve got the scariest lineup in all of baseball and you’re bunting? Ladies and gentleman may I present Dusty Baker: the best manager in baseball for 23 hours a day.

With the Sox down by four, I made a grave, grave error: I turned off the game. Watching the evil empire smile and laugh at Fenway is not how I want to spend any enjoyable evening. Which of course means that I missed the following sequence: Papi double, Manny walk, JD ground out, Lowell single (3-6), enter Sandman, Tek single (4-6), Coco (what??) triple (6-6), Cora single (7-6). I hope Mariano Rivera had flashbacks of the Luis Gonzales go-ahead single from the 2001 World Series when Cora hit. Between that hit and seeing Julian Tavarez in the dugout, he must have thought he was in a horror movie.

Here’s where I came back. Okajima was money for the save. He got Capt. Jetes to ground out, he should have struck out Abreu (the strike zone was questionable all night), got Mr. April on a soft liner to Cora, and struck out Kevin Thompson swinging. That said, I was still screaming that I wanted Papelbon until he got the last strike on Thompson.

So Mr. April, enjoy your home runs and your RBIs. Just give the Sox the Ws.