_{(Picture from Surviving Grady.)}

I know I’ve been lazy the past week or so. I assume anybody reading here knows what has been going on in the wild world of sports during that time, but just in case you haven’t here’s the Sox recap:

May 4 – Sox win 2-0 @ Twinkies
Wake, as usual, gets no run support. In response, he tells the team “I don’t need your stinking runs” and shuts out the Twinkies while switching between bags of IV fluid and a pack of smokes in the clubhouse tunnel.

May 5 – Sox lose 2-1 @ Twinkies
Tavarez pitched very well, but Santana and the Twinkie pen pitched slightly better. Manny for some reason decided to massage Taverez’s head in the dugout. Hilarity ensued.

May 6 – Sox win 4-3 @ Twinkies
Schilling pitches well until the 7th when he implodes and almost costs the Sox the lead. Of course, the lead would have been bigger if Alex Cora didn’t get thrown out at 2nd on a sac fly before the runner from 3rd (Pedroia) crossed the plate. Apparently that .405 batting average has got to Cora’s head. The Twinkies try to give the Sox something to remember them by and take Youk’s manhood (so the pitch only hit him on the inner thigh, it was close enough).

May 7 – Sox win 9-3 @ Jays
Beckett gives up a leadoff homer, and then shuts down the northern Sox nemesis to win his first seven starts. Pedroia goes deep (you may want to read that one again), along with Youk, Tek, and Doubles. Youks plays punching bag again, and gets hit in the leg.

May 8 – Sox win 9-2 @ Jays
Dice-K goes seven innings giving up a run and King eight. The Red Sox remember what they paid $103M for in the offseason. He gets some runs support for the first time, as Pedroia’s batting average eclipses JD Drew’s. But individual stats don’t matter, right?

OK, now that we’re all caught up, the Sox, who are currently 22-10 and six games up on the MFY, will try to keep this dome-domination going against Roy Halladay tonight. At least the Sox offense will have an excuse this time when they don’t score any runs for Timmeh.