Well, it’s 3AM, and of course that means it’s time for opening day. Play ball…

Pre-game

• I might as well have drank last night, got 4 hours of sleep, and woke up with a pounding headache, cause that’s what Thorne and Phillips do to my head.

Bottom 1st

• Mark f-ing Ellis? He’s like the Alex Cora of the West.
• Wow, Dice-K looks like crap. I don’t care what he says, pitching in front of his home country after the Sox paid over $100M for him is having an effect.

Top 2nd

• Since when does Tek get his at bat music during an AWAY game?

Bottom 2nd

• Well, it only took me until the second inning for my first “you had him 0 and fucking two” as Dice-K goes 0-2 and then throws four balls to Mark Ellis. It’s not like he’s got any power, oh, wait…
• I know that amphetamines are a no-no, but if Major League Baseball drags players halfway around the world, maybe a few greenies are in order.
• Why do the Japanese fans have signs that say DAI-SU-KE? Shouldn’t they put his name in, you know, Japanese?

Top 3rd

• Gotta give the Japanese fans credit for “yooooking” when Youks came up to bat. And just like that Youks gets his first hit of the season.

Bottom 3rd

• When did Dice-K get 2006 Josh Beckett syndrome (I don’t need to throw my offspead pitches for strikes!).

Top 6th

• Manny! I guess all that working out in the offseason is paying off. And Dice-K’s double-finger points was priceless. He’ll become the next Kevin Millar soon.
• JD Who? We’ve got Brandon Moss, who gives the Sox a 3-2 lead.
• Best baseball commercial I’ve seen in awhile: the New Era Big Papi commercial. Hilarious.

Bottom 6th

• And Kyle Snyder gives the lead right back. I really hope the jetlag is screwing up our pitchers, otherwise this is going to be a really long season.

Bottom 7th

• If Ellsubry keeps making catches jumping into the wall like the one against Emil Brown, nobody is going to remember that Coco is on this team in three weeks.
• This is now the second time Gary Thorne has missed a call. Here’s a suggestion…watch the fucking monitor. We can all see what happened on TV, but he fumbles around for 30 seconds before he finally gets the call right.

Top 9th

• Brandon Moss! Your 1st Major League HR ties the game in the 9th? I may be able to ignore the fact that JD Drew got hurt before the season even started.

Bottom 9th

• Much like the last season Okajima upstages Dice-K.
  Dice-K’s line: 5IP, 2ER, 2 H, 5BB, 6Ks.
  Okajima’s: 1IP, 0R, 0H, 1BB, 1K.
  Can we give him Dice-K’s money?

Top 10th

• Lugo, wtf are you doing trying to steal 3rd with 2 outs?? Repeat after me, “I am not Dave Roberts, I am not Dave Roberts.” I’m afraid that the whole “he didn’t suck quite enough for the Sox to trade him” may have gone straight to his head.
• Manny again, and in true MBM (Manny Being Manny) fashion. He crushes a ball to deep center, that goes off the wall for a 2-run double. But Manny stands and admires his handy-work, until he realizes that it’s not going out and then starts to run. Good times.

Bottom 10th

• OK, Papelbon is starting to worry me now. A double to Emil Brown? I’m just glad the guy is a moron and got caught up between 2nd and 3rd for the 2nd out of the inning.
• Jesus Paps, it’s too early in the day and the season for heart attacks. Get the fuck out of there.
• Whew. The final from Tokyo, 6-5 Sox. And one oversized check for Manny.
• Even though this is officially an away game, they played Dirty Water at the end of the game. Red Sox Nation East is alive and well.