I think Papi went all major league and sacrificed a chicken for his two hits last night. Jobu was pleased, but not pleased enough to give him extra bases. Next time, Papi, go with the live chicken.

It seems appropriate after last night’s heroics to ask the question, how good is Manny? We all know about his career .313 batting average, his 11-time all-star selection, and the fact that he sews “MBM” into his underwear (I couldn’t even try to make that one up). He even has started to go all Big Papi on us and hit not just monstrous home runs, but monstrous home runs in the clutch. But now he can add one more item to his list of accomplishments.

Manny Ramirez is so good that he sent a player to the disabled list. Last night after En Fuego doubled (and let’s be honest, if Casey Blake isn’t positioned almost in foul territory, that’s an easy 5-3 out), and eventually tied the game in the top of the 9th, Manny came to the plate and decided that he didn’t like the idea of extra innings. So what does he do? He drills the first pitch he sees from Cleveland closer Joe Borowski into the left field seats. It wasn’t quite the heroics of his moonshot off of K-Rod in the ALDS last year, but it’s gotta be extra special happening in Cleveland. As Manny put it , the pitch he saw was “like a fastball, it was something like 80. Or a changeup.” Ouch. Anyways, this apparently hurt Borowski so much that he’s now been placed on the DL. That’s one more line you can add to Manny’s Hall of Fame resume.

Of course, not everything is coming up roses. Jon Lester now has a K/BB rate of 2/3. That’s right, he’s giving up more walks than strikeouts. As much as I love the guy, at some point he needs to start PITCHING, not just throwing. And no, even though he pitched GREAT last night, Julian Tavarez is not a good role model.

Everybody was hoping that this new Dice-K who throws strikes and keeps batters on their heels would show up at Freezing Fenway tonight. Instead, we got the old one who spots most batters two balls before he tries to get them out. Sure, he got the win to start the season 3-0, but giving him the win is kind of like giving a batter an RBI when he gets plunked in the head with the bases loaded.

And Mike Timlin looks like he’s got as much stuff on his fastball as my sister does. No, my sister is not Jennie Finch, my sister throws like a girl. I hate Tito bringing him into close games like this, especially on Friday, but every year we write him off in April and every year he’s one of the cornerstones of the pen by June. So I’ll stop playing Nostradamus with him.

But even with a Papi-less lineup (which maybe was a benefit), the Sox pounded poor Philly Hughes. They made him throw 39 pitches in the first and was out of there in 2+ innings. I guess that averages out what the MFY bullpen had to do in this series after getting the night off on Friday. Manny looks like the bad man we all know him to be, and when Papi is still 3-43 on the season, that’s necessary.

Your Morganism for the night: telling everyone that sliding headfirst is a better than sliding feet-first because it gets you there faster. Two issues, 1) you don’t get to the base and faster and 2) every player who was on the DL because they broke a finger can tell you it’s NOT WORTH IT. That said, Coco still slides in head-first and it drives me bananas.

We took two of three from the MFY, in general had a pretty decent bullpen (that means you Aardsma, Lopez and Delcarmen…not you Timlin), and got to show the MFY the new upgrades to Fenway. I call that a productive weekend.

Every baseball season requires getting over a few humps. You’ve got to play your first game; play your first game in the US; play your first game in Canada; and (finally) play your first game at home. You’ve got to get your first Nomar injury. And of course you need to get your first win against the MFY. But like your first million, the first win is always the hardest. In this case, it only took an even six hours for the final out. Who waits two hours and eleven minutes to see A-Rod face Papelbon with the tying run on 2nd? I do. Fox doesn’t, but I do. And was it worth it to get to see Paps strike out A-Rod on 3 straight pitches? Is the Pope Catholic?

As I watch this, The First Series of 2008, I must admit that while I hate all the MFY I was never truly able to hate Joe Torre. I know he got the MFY all those World Series wins in the late 90s, but he always seemed like a good guy. Plus, who else could manage a team to a 3-0 lead only to blow four games straight.

On the other hand, screw Giradi. I don’t know why, but I hate his guts. He just looks like he’d be happy to instruct Phil Hughes to plunk Manny for the fun of it. At which point Hank “the pencil pusher” Steinbrenner would probably give him an extension. I hate the Yankees.

The great American winning streak of 2008 is over at three. What a shame. But at least they got their act together and won the next one from the 1-7 Tiggers. Of course they bring in Freddy just to make sure that you don’t get too comfortable. Who else allows up 5 straight runners with a 5 run lead? Freddy “I’m going to scare the shit out of you” Tavarez, that’s who.

The Sox also DFA’ed Bryan Corey after the game to make room for Mike Timlin. Considering how Corey pitched this year (4.1IP, 9H, 7E/R, 1BB, 3K), I’m not surprised. To thank him for his help, he’ll receive a World Series ring! Still better than you’d get for sucking in the minors.

The MFY come back to town for the first of the season tonight. Hope they like staring at that 2007 World Series Champions flag flying in center field. Especially Judas. Enjoy, bitch.

The Sox remain undefeated in the United States (3-0), Dice-K looks good (again) and I still want the Red Sox to donate to the “Matt’s Heart Attack Foundation” for every runner they leave on base (that would be 11). Hmmm, did anything else happen?

Buckner throwing out the first pitch. No, that’s not it…

Bringing famous players from the Pats, Celtics, Bruins and 04 Sox championship teams. Kinda cool, still not it…

Johnny Pesky raising a flag for 2007. While touching, it’s not quite ringing any bells…

That’s it, a ring ceremony! Nothing says “we won the World Series, bitch” like Papi’s large grin as he models both the 2004 and 2007 World Series rings. Congrats again to the 2007 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox, that means you too Belli. As Tito said “How do you beat getting a ring and clean underwear?” You don’t.

Tito, let’s recap. On Friday you had a tie game in the bottom of the 7th with Frank Thomas up and you went with the other Manny. Decent choice, not even I can’t fault you for it when he gave up the go-ahead double.

But you’re not as stupid as our president. You actually (I hope) know the saying “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.” So when you again had a tie game, this time with the bases loaded in the bottom of the 5th why on earth would you bring in Delcarmen again? Shit it only took him a single pitch to give up 4 runs this time.

As for Julio Errorgo, we’re not on speaking terms yet.

The Sox travel to the third country in three weeks and, surprise surprise, are having trouble winning games. Timmeh looked good but the bullpen and offense sucked. And then Macboy looked like crap, and so did the offense. So we’re quickly back to .500. But that’s OK, it still means that we can finish no worse than 152-10. How you ask? Well the Sox are still undefeated in the United States! That means something, right…?

Also, can somebody please plunk David Eckstein? That guy kills us, and he always seems to have 25 pitch at-bats. So just whack the guy with a fastball and be done with it!

As promised, I will be live-blogging today’s game from the press box at McAfee Coliseum. Nothing exciting from pre-game, although I got a huge kick out of the little kid who kept screaming at Kevin Cash thinking he was Dustin Pedroia. I’ll have notes as the game progresses. If you’ve got questions during the game, post them in the comments and I’ll try to answer them. Now off to get a hot dog before first pitch. Ah, the benefits of the press box.

12:25-12:30: Nina Cook sings the 5 minute version of the National Anthem. Play ball!

12:50 (mid 1st): Wow, that was pathetic. A leadoff single, followed by two walks and the Sox can’t get a fucking run home. Manny Ks, Lowell Ks, and Drew. Well, I’m sure you’re shocked that Drew swung at the first pitch and grounded out. This does not bode well for the rest of the game. Oh, and Papi still looks clueless at the plate despite his walk.

1:03 (end 1st): Lester looked pretty good in the first. He gave up a double but is throwing a lot of strikes (16 of 23 pitches).

1:30 (end 3rd): Lester is getting back to his old ways, getting 2 double-plays in the past two innings. The 1st was a really nice feed from Cora to Pedroia. I’m slowly realizing that it’s harder to make snarky comments without announcers to make fun of.

1:32 (top 4): Just when I want to write JD Drew off for the season after one at bat, he goes and strokes a nice single into right. Wait, then he wanders off the bag and gets caught in a 4L-3 double play.

1:39 (bottom 4): Levine’s Law, the leadoff walk usually comes around to score…unless it doesn’t. Either way, not a good start for Lester this inning.

1:54 (top 5): Papi with his first hit of the season! Sure, it was a bloop single the other way, but I’ll take it.

2:10 (top 6): Another WTF moment. Drew strikes out (that’s not surprising), but Lowell gets caught in no-mans land between 1st and 2nd and gets thrown out 2-6-3. Drew can’t even make contact on a hit and run!

2:18: That’s the second batter hit by a pitch this inning. I’d think it was on purpose, but who hits Alex Cora intentionally? Oh, and with Pedroia’s out that now 10 LOB. I really should propose my idea to John Blake, the Sox PR man, that I’ll pay the Jimmy Fund for each Sox HR if the Sox pay me for each runner LOB.

2:30 (top 7): Youks with the wheels! He does a nice job stretching a long single into a double. Also, nice slide into second going FEET first. (Sorry, it’s a pet peeve of mine. Too many players slide in head first and get hurt when there is no speed difference. I’m looking at you Coco.)

2:33: PAPI!!!! Papi crushes a fastball to deep right. The right fielder barely even moved. 2-0 Sox.

2:35: MBM. Manny destroys a pitch to the warning track in center field but Denofria pulls it in. Truth is Manny gets a single if it stays in the ballpark cause he just stood at home plate and watched it.

2:41 (bottom 7): Why is Emil Brown’s at bat music an Irish jigg? Just asking.

2:42: And as I say that Brown gets a bloop hit off of Pedroia’s outstretched glove. That’ll do it for Lester, but man am I impressed. He retired 10 of the last 11 he saw and gave up just 3 hits in 6 2/3.

2:55 (top 8): Sox load the bases on three singles to left by Tek, Coco and Cora. Let’s see if they can do something with the bases loaded, no outs this time.

2:58: Dustin with his first RBI of the season, 3-0 Sox. Followed by a Yooooook single to make it 4-0.

3:08: You’d never know that Manny and Papi are the clutch hitters on the team. Still bases loaded, no outs Papi Ks and Manny grounds into a 6-4-3 DP. Heading into the bottom of the 8th, Red Sox 4, A’s nothing.

3:25: Tek with his first home run of the season after just missing one foul. Either Huston Street is going to suck this season, or Tek is getting in a groove. I hope it’s the latter. 5-0 Sox going into the bottom of the 9th.

10:00PM: Sorry for the lack of updates there at the end of the game. I had to run down in the middle of the bottom of the 9th to make sure I was first in line to get audio clips from Tito. Obviously the Sox held the 5-0 lead in the bottom of the 9th. To make up for the disappearing act, I’m going to post all the interviews I got below. The best question of all came from Jon Miller the reporter, not the broadcaster, who asked Tito “what do you think the future is of a two man rotation?” Brilliant. (Hear Tito’s response at 3:25).

Also, a quick anecdote from the locker room. Manny and Papi’s lockers are one apart from another with a communal empty one in between them. Manny had already packed all of his stuff. A bit later when Papi was getting dressed he found a knit cap of Manny’s in the locker. He held it up for the media to see, tossed it in his bag and said “man, I’m always picking up after Manny.” Maybe this year Manny can do a little picking up after Papi in the cleanup spot.

Tito:

Tek:

Lester:

Papi:

Youk:

After months and months of waiting, it finally arrived: the first Opening Day in the US for the Red Sox that’s two days after actual Opening Day “Night.” But that didn’t stop me from dressing up in a jacket an Oxford shirt for the occasion. (If you’re wondering why, it’s a tradition for members of the media to dress up for Opening Day. For example, Jon Miller wears his tux every Giants Opening Day.)

I helped my friend Ryan, who’s a reporter for ESPN radio, at the game today and as payment was rewarded with a media credential. Ryan and I got down to the field in time for both the A’s and Sox to take BP, and found one Dustin Pedroia sitting by his lonesome in the dugout. If you ever want to see Dustin get all riled up and spew out a stream of obscenities not heard since the ball went between Billy Buckner’s legs, ask him about the “and THAT happened” video.

We also ran into Dave O’Brien, who’s very nice and personable. He’s also possibly the hardest working man in MLB-show business. I offered to buy him a beer after the game, but he was leaving on an 8:30 red-eye flight so he could do the Jays-MFY game on ESPN. And no, that’s not like a girl saying that she can’t go out with you because she has to wash her hair.

Don Orsillo is a rock star. I think he gets asked for more autographs than Manny.

I don’t care what people say, this game did not feel like Opening Day. In fact, after attending Sox-A’s games for the past three seasons now, this one had the least intensity of them all. Maybe it’s because the Sox just won the Series, I’m not sure. But something just didn’t feel right.

The game itself was about the battery-mates of Tek and Dice-K. They both looked kind of wild at the start, Tek fouling out with runners at 1st and 3rd and one out and Dice-K doing his usually “I’ll spot you 3 balls and then try to pitch to you” routine. They both settled down nicely though, and Dice-K looked the strongest I’ve ever seen him, striking out nine batters in 6 2/3 and allowing ZERO walks.

His couterpart behind the plate scorched a ball to right in the 5th, and then got a clutch 2-out “double” that SHOULD have been a HR in the 6th to give the Sox the lead. And for good measure he got a single in the 9th, just so we couldn’t say his one hit was a fluke.

Paps also finally looked like himself, King the side in the 9th. I asked the Sox PR man before the game about Paps, and he said that he just looked “out of sync.” Well, I’m going to blame that on the jetlag, cause if three straight strikeouts to any lineup besides the Giants isn’t “in sync”, then I’m not sure what is.

As a member of the media, the real game starts when the game on the field ends. I sprinted down to the hallway outside the Sox locker room to get in line for interviews. The line lines both sides of an entire hallway. When they let us in, everybody crowds into Tito’s office for him to answer a few questions. After Tito’s done the reporters all file back into the locker room as players try to get dressed and eat something without being attacked. If you want to talk to a player who’s not a big name from the game, that’s usually pretty easy and they’re nice about it. Otherwise, you’d better be persistent.

After reading that Clay Buchholz is a huge Apple fan, I went over and introduced myself. He was very nice and asked me about a bunch of our products and also mentioned that “I’ll never use Windows.” Music to my heart and my stock. I also gave him my number. No, I’m not leaving Kim for Clay, it was to see if he wanted any discounts.

In case anybody is curious, here are what some of the interviews sound like. Below is the interview with Tito, Jacoby and Tek. Also, tomorrow I’ll be live-blogging from the press box in the stadium. I promise it won’t be like the shitty stuff you get from Amalie.