Theo LOVES his low-risk, high-reward, scrap-heap signings. Every year he signs at least one or two players that every OCD Sox fan (aka SoSH) thinks is going to be fantastic. Remember Matt Mantei? Remember Wade Miller? Before these guys toed the rubber in a Sox jersey they were already penciled in to win the fireman’s award and Cy Young award (respectively). Instead they sucked, got cut, and went nowhere.
So when the Sox signed the 2005 Cy Young award winner to a minor-league deal, I had to temper my excitement. Everything about him sounded great on paper, but then again, so do the Devil Rays. Wait, the Rays are 2nd in the division and seven games over .500? I guess that means that Theo might have actually hit gold this time and not brought us more pyrite.
Colon was truly everything we had hoped for. He had pretty-good command, still had decent velocity and was able to fool hitters on occasion. Not bad for a guy who looks like he ate David Wells for breakfast and Orson Wells for a mid-day snack. And when the bats got him some runs, it led to yet another friendly Fenway victory… the 9th in a row.
Maybe Colon will burn out after a few starts, maybe he’ll make the postseason roster. Who knows? But at least he’s already more promising than Matt Mantei.
What kind of crap is this? Three hits in 6 1/3 innings? THREE? Come on Justin, it’s your second big-league start. I’m not saying that you had to pull a Buchholz on us, a one-hitter would have been perfectly acceptable. Of course, if you removed Alex Gordon and his three hits, then maybe you could hang with Buchholz and Lester without having to supply the beer. Then again, Beckett and Schilling (”Why’d I shake off Tek!?!”) still can’t.
At least the bullpen was able to hold onto this win for Masterson. As hard as they tried, Delcarmen and Okajima only managed to allow one run, and when the dust settled from Paps’ fist-pumping Justin escaped with his first major league win. His reward? A permanent promotion…to AAA.
I will say that I may be coming around to this whole in-house development thing from Theo. He’s now given us Paps, Lester, Buchholz, Pedroia, and Ellsubry. But Masterson doesn’t get the full-time promotion until he can throw a no-no.
I’d also like to say thanks to the one and only Jon Miller. Jon, who has had the honor of calling such great moments as Cal Ripken Jr.’s 2131st game, Barry Bond’s 756th* home run and the Red Sox winning their first World Series in 86 years now can also take claim to being the first announcer to broadcast a Dirty Watah post on the air. It’s extremely cool to know that one of my five loyal readers includes one of the best MLB announcers in history. Thanks Jon!
Get the victory in the clinching World Series game (check)
Become the first Sox lefty since 1956 to throw a no-hitter
Some people may say that all wins are equal, but clearly when Jon Lester wins, he makes sure he wins BIG. So when I looked up at my computer screen in the 5th and thought “huh, Lester hasn’t allowed a hit through five,” he took that as an opportunity to add one more notch to a resume many a pitcher would already have killed for (except for the first check-mark) and no-hit the Kansas City Royals. (Strange “did you know?”: the Royals had only been no-hit once before this, and it was almost 35 years ago to the day – May 15th).
As I turned on the game in the 8th, it was clear that this Jon Lester was not the same one who we often see get in trouble by nibbling around the plate. He was confident, worked quickly, and most importantly came after hitters, with control of all of his pitches. He was striking out Royals hitters and making them look jut silly in the process. Even when he walked the first batter in the 9th on five pitches, you could almost see a lightbulb go off in his head to remind him that he needed to keep attacking. Two groundouts and a swing and a miss on his 130th pitch of the night, Lester had his no hitter.
When I met Lester back in April, he struck me as a very confident, but not a cocky or egotistical person. I think that’s the best way to describe his performance tonight. So congrats Jon, you, of all people, deserve this.
As I leave you with video of the last out, here are a couple of things to chew on:
Tek has finally learned that he will destroy pitchers if he keeps jumping on them. I’m glad he’s choosing to now pick them up after big games.
Tek has also now caught more no-hitters (four) than any other catcher since 1900. Some of that has got to be luck, but there must be an ounce of skill involved. If Curt didn’t shake him off, we’d be talking about five no-no’s.
Jon Lester has a father, but he clearly has two additional father-figures. Even without Tito’s postgame quote (”I feel like my son threw a no-hitter”), it’d be hard to miss the heartfelt embraces that both Tito and Tek had with Lester after the game.
No hitters thrown by Johan Santana: 0
No hitters thrown by Jon Lester: 1
On Saturday, during game two of the doubleheader, the Fenway crowd gave Gabe Kapler a long and well deserved standing ovation. But after this weekend’s series it has become painfully clear that the menorah has been passed; Gabe is no longer “the Hebrew Hammer” that we all loved and cheered for in a Sox uniform. That title now belongs to his current teammate, Ryan Braun. Braun CRUSHED three home runs in three games here at Fenway which is about half as many as Kap had in his four years on the Sox. But the good news is that his three homers might have hurt Pap and Beckett’s ERAs, it didn’t stop the Sox from sweeping three from the Brew-crew. You see, the Sox have The Jewish Messiah of Walks, who went a mere 6-11 with a double, and a homer of his own.
After 10 games on the road, there’s nothing better than some home-cooking; and this isn’t the NBA playoffs. At home, Dice-K doesn’t walk the ballpark, and gets a ton of 2-out run support. At home, the Sox can blow a 5-0 lead (the three errors didn’t help) and come back to win. At home, Mike Timlin can pitch a 1-2-3 ninth and hold down a one-run lead. But most importantly, at home, the Sox can sweep a doubleheader.
I couldn’t say it any better than our starting pitcher. Without further ado, the ace of this Boston Red Sox staff with a 4-3 record, and soon to be sailor, Mr. Josh Beckett:
You can’t give up as many hits as you get outs when you have my (expletive) stuff. (Expletive) terrible.
It was a (expletive) pitch. It was right down the (expletive) middle. It bothers me when I don’t do my job and my job is to execute pitches. If you execute pitches, with my stuff, you gets outs.
I think they’re all shocked how (expletive) (expletive) I can be at times. I think everybody in here knows I should be able to get more than 17 (expletive) outs in a game.
I guess we should be happy to escape that hellhole known as the Metrodome still in 1st place (albeit by 1/2 a game over the DEVIL Rays). I’m just looking forward to 2010 when Theo is going to go on a roadtrip with the team, get drunk one night and drag everybody over to the site of the rubble that used to be the metrodome to take a long, satisfying piss on it. Theo, if you’re reading this, feel free to give me a call and I’ll join you.
In other Sox news, the Red Sox official clubhouse mascot has been DFAed. No, not Wally, Julian Tavarez. I will admit that I’ll miss his on-the-field antics such as rolling a grounder to first for a 1-3 putout or always pointing at the appropriate base where the fielder should throw (double-plays were always fun). No longer can Manny pet him in the dugout either (ironically, that was in Minnesota last year). There were also the good times when we couldn’t differentiate between Tavarez’s pitching lines and Roger Clemens’. But even with all of this, my blood pressure still says it’s the right move to dump him and his 6.39 ERA. And on the bright side Julian can now go pursue his life’s calling: porn star.
Well that was a crappy weekend-plus. Paps blows not one, but two saves in three games, and the Sox end up going 1-3 when they should have won three out of four. Makes you really appreciate how good Paps has been over the past couple of years.
There was a small bright spot though. Even though Sox couldn’t outdo their “Mother’s Day Miracle” from last year and rally from a 7-1 hole on Sunday. However, Julio Lugo did have to sit out because of a concussion. That’s a small miracle, right?
To be perfectly honest, I didn’t watch this game. But according to the box score, the Sox won thanks to Wakefield going 8 shutout innings, and Papi and Manny going back-to-back for hopefully the first of many times this season. Not even Mike Timlin could blow a 5-0 lead in the 9th. Yay win.
In Toronto for a conference, Kim managed to get to the Bad Sox-Jays game last night. Here are her thoughts:
It’s crazy weird watching baseball under a roof, especially with a tiny crowd that doesn’t get warmed up till the 6th.
The Jays have “the world’s fastest grounds crew” who come out and rake the carpet for about 30 seconds. (Matt: is this something to be proud of?)
Eckstein’s OBP is higher than his SLG, shocker.
The Blue Jays have their own weird song for the seventh inning stretch complete with choreography.
Saw the Hard Rock Cafe, home of Manny Ramirez home runs.
There are pigeons nesting in the scaffolding, don’t let Randy Johnson pitch here.
BJ Ryan, this is the strike zone, have you met?
Note to Nick Swisher: when you’re hitting .200, lean into it, don’t dive away. (Matt: I have to apologize to Swisher for this. I drafted him on my fantasy team which is now looking like the 1962 Mets.)
After loading the bases on walks, BJ ends it with a 1-2-3 DP.
