In one corner, the 5′11″ pitcher weighing in at a conservative 245lbs from the Dominican Republic with a fastball that can barely hit 92 anymore…Bartolo Colon.

And in the other corner, standing at 6′4″ and weighing in at 256lbs, the slugger from St. Louis who could probably have taken Colon deep during his Cy Young days…Ryan Howard.

Yeah, who do you think won this matchup? 2-2, 2HR, 2R, 3 RBI

As for the “admiral” of the pirate bullpen, Mike Timlin probably couldn’t pitch in Omaha right now and have a scoreless inning.