Which of the following is least likely to happen:

(a) Tek gets a bases loaded single to tie the game
(b) Coco, in the middle of a 1-25 slump, hits a 2-run bases loaded double for the lead
(c) Pedro Martinez goes 2-3 with an RBI
(d) The Devil Rays are in 1st place on June 4th

Believe it or not, it’s (e), all of the above, AND somehow they all happened yesterday. Pedro is quite possibly one of the worst hitters of all time, rivaling only my co-ed Softball team’s catcher. But there are few things funnier than watching him do his goofy double-point plus hip gyration while standing on first. I think he’s angling himself to become the Dominican Tom Jones when his baseball career is finally over. After watching Petey do his thing for years in a Sox jersey and now making a comeback in the blue and orange, we should know that he can do anything he puts his mind to. Even hit.