Dear Scott,

This whole worst-to-first Rays thing is really cute, but we’ve got some bad news for you. All these years that you’ve completely dominated our hitters? We let you. Before you say “what are you talking about? You couldn’t even hit .270 off me” just remember that we didn’t exactly fear the rest of your team those years. We had to make one of you look good. In fact, those fights we got into were kind of sweet. But with you guys still in first place in the AL East in September it’s no longer cute. So here’s what we’re going to do: we’re going to hit you…hard. Not just one member of the lineup, this time, everybody wants to get their punch in. So we drew straws and Papi, Lowell, Bay and Tek are all going to go deep off of you. And then, to prove that you don’t have the only good farm system in the AL East, Youks and Ellsbury are going to go deep off your pen. Even Manny asked to come back for this one.

But we’re not that mean, we’ll still give you a chance by throwing the luckiest 16-2 pitcher in baseball against you. Even with a 10-run lead Dice-K will still make all our fans sweat and scream at the TV. And then we’ll even bring in Mike Timlin so he can finally set the record for most relief appearances at 1,051. He’s been bitching about it all season, and we figure you’d like to thank him for the 14th inning last week.

You better have enjoyed your time at the top, cause you now have some company.

-Your 2008 Boston Red Sox