Well take that Steinbrenner! You add $423M in payroll for three players, the Sox combat it with an average that’s almost as high: two players who are a combined 81 years old. Now I’m sure you’re really scared!

Theo’s current shopping spree for old, used, low-risk high-reward pitchers is starting to remind me of when I first found eBay. Woah, I can buy a Atari for $20?? Who cares that it’s practically broken and I can’t even hook it up to my TV because the cables are too old, it’s only $20!!!

John Smoltz is a no-doubt Hall of Famer, who could be a steal at $5M. He’s never allowed an earned run at Fenway in 20.1 IP and has a postseason ERA of 2.65. But let’s be honest, he’s also entering his 21st season in the big-leagues and is coming off of major shoulder surgery. Dr. James Andrews and 42 year old pitchers usually make for a pretty nasty combination.

And then there’s Takashi Saito. Here’s another pitcher whose resume could blow you away. In his three seasons on this continent he had a strikeout-to-walk ratio of almost 5:1 and a WHIP under one. With those numbers you’d think that any game the Sox have a lead entering the 6th inning would be an automatic W with him, Paps, Masterson, Lopez and Oki. Then we remember that the reason the Sox got him for the low “Buy It Now!” price of $1.5M is that he needs Tommy John Surgery but is opting for rehab instead. So he may be the second coming of Matt Mantei.

Look, I’m really hoping Theo’s right, and we have unprecedented depth in both the bullpen and the rotation. But for every great deal you find on eBay, remember that you end up with a broken cell phone, or pitcher, just as often.

For everyone who has felt like something has been missing from the Sox bench for the past four years, you can feel whole again. With today’s signing, the Sox will once again have an highly talented, but always injured player sitting on the bench wearing the #5 jersey. No, Nomar will not be returning to replace Julio Lugo. Instead the Sox signed Rhode Island’s own Rocco Baldelli to a highly incentive laden deal to be the team’s 5th OF.

If you’ve followed the AL East for the past few years you know about Baldelli’s amazing amount of raw talent, but also about his close personal relationship with the disabled list. He’s had probably 15 diagnosis for his condition in three years, which doesn’t exactly make me feel too confident in this latest one that he has channelopathy. But all that said, if he can be in the lineup for 40 games this season, it’s a great signing. It’s like Sean Casey except with speed, power and versatility! Plus, there’s once again a member of the Sox who has a larger nose than I do.

Let’s be honest, we all know that this signing isn’t going to make us forget about how Tex screwed us over (he’s no longer worth enough of my time for me to google how to spell his name). But more than anything right now the 09 Sox need some depth. A starting lineup of Youks, Pedey, Lowrie, Lowell, Bay, Ellsbury, Drew, Papi and a catcher who can hit near the Mendoza line will probably be good enough to compete for a playoff spot. But when one or many of them get hurt, then where are they? With Julio Lugo? With Jeff Bailey? With Chris Carter? Suddenly they go from a 95 win team to an 80 win team. (Lowell, Papi and Drew combined for 45 Win Shares last season). The Sox need good bench players, and right now it seems like Theo is trying to get them some.

Welcome home Rocco. Now try to make up for hitting that bomb off Paul Byrd in the ALCS.