Well take that Steinbrenner! You add $423M in payroll for three players, the Sox combat it with an average that’s almost as high: two players who are a combined 81 years old. Now I’m sure you’re really scared!

Theo’s current shopping spree for old, used, low-risk high-reward pitchers is starting to remind me of when I first found eBay. Woah, I can buy a Atari for $20?? Who cares that it’s practically broken and I can’t even hook it up to my TV because the cables are too old, it’s only $20!!!

John Smoltz is a no-doubt Hall of Famer, who could be a steal at $5M. He’s never allowed an earned run at Fenway in 20.1 IP and has a postseason ERA of 2.65. But let’s be honest, he’s also entering his 21st season in the big-leagues and is coming off of major shoulder surgery. Dr. James Andrews and 42 year old pitchers usually make for a pretty nasty combination.

And then there’s Takashi Saito. Here’s another pitcher whose resume could blow you away. In his three seasons on this continent he had a strikeout-to-walk ratio of almost 5:1 and a WHIP under one. With those numbers you’d think that any game the Sox have a lead entering the 6th inning would be an automatic W with him, Paps, Masterson, Lopez and Oki. Then we remember that the reason the Sox got him for the low “Buy It Now!” price of $1.5M is that he needs Tommy John Surgery but is opting for rehab instead. So he may be the second coming of Matt Mantei.

Look, I’m really hoping Theo’s right, and we have unprecedented depth in both the bullpen and the rotation. But for every great deal you find on eBay, remember that you end up with a broken cell phone, or pitcher, just as often.