It’s officially under one week until opening day. Boy, it’s felt like a long time since the last out of the World Series. Even if the end of the season was prolonged by a couple of days thanks to the rain and Bud Selig changing the rules on a whim.

The standard way to hypothesize about the upcoming season is to look at the team as a whole. But since the Sox will be breaking camp with 25 players, I think it’s more interesting to single out the questions for each of them one-by-one. Without further ado, here are the questions that will determine if the Sox destroy the Evil Empire and the evil unkosher fish from Florida or if they end up behind the Orioles in October.

Batters:

Kevin Youkilis: Will he have to calm down now that he’s married and lose some of that passion that helped him win the Hank Aaron award in 2008 and get into fights with Manny in the dugout? Most importantly, will he lose his power since shaving off the rug he had on his face?

Dustin Pedroia: How many MVPs do you know who can’t hit the high, inside fastball?

Jed Lowrie: How much more power will Lowrie have after fixing the broken bone in his hand?

Julio Lugo: Will he finally take his $9M/year, shut up, and stop blackmailing Tito to let him play over the clearly superior Lowrie? (That’s the only explanation why he still gets to play, right?)

Mikey Lowell: Do we get the 2006/2007 Mikey Lowell? Or is he going to limp around like most of the grandparents living in Florida?

Jason Bay: Honestly, his offense seems pretty steady. The only question I’ve got is if this will be his last year in the shadow of the Monster, or if he’ll get a contract extension done.

Jacoby Ellsbury: STOP SWINGING AT PITCHES IN THE DIRT! (It’s not even worth putting that in question form, sorry Alex Trebek.)

JD Drew: What’s the over/under on games injured this season? I put it at 50.

Big Papi: Can he still strike fear into the hearts and minds of opponents when he spits on his batting gloves and claps them together like he did to the MFY in the 04 ALCS?

Rocco: Will we see a fraction of the talent he showed when he came up to the big leagues? Or will he need an electric wheelchair to play right field?

The Captain: The .220 he hit last year was a fluke right? Or are we going to see him bat .150 this year with RISP?

George Kottaras: Good luck.

Nick Green: Who?

Chris Carter/Jeff Bailey: Will one of you end up starting when JD and/or Mike Lowell goes down for an extended period of time?

Pitchers:

Josh Beckett: Do we get the Cy Young-like workhorse that we did in 2007? Or the overweight pitcher who could barely put his shirt on by the end of the season?

Jon Lester: Can people finally shut up about the cancer stuff and realize that he’s turned into a great major league pitcher? Jon Farrell thinks so…

Daisuke Matsuzaka: What’s the over/under for amount of valium that will be prescribed to Red Sox Nation on the day of his starts?

Tim Wakefield: How much will he abuse Kottaras?

Brad Penny: Has anybody taught him what a sit-up is yet?

John Smoltz: Which will be lower, his average golf score for 18 holes, or the number of innings he pitches this season in a Sox uniform?

Clay Buchholz: Was this spring a tease (2-0, 2.52ER, 4.75:1 K:BB)? Or are we finally seeing him master the potential that he had at the end of the 2007 season?

Manny Delcarmen: Strikes, throw freaking strikes!!! (And here’s your question:) Please?

Takashi Saito: Can his shoulder hold up without Tommy John surgery?

Hideki Okijima: Can his neck hold up without Tommy John surgery?

Jaiver Lopez: I’ve got nothing.

Ramon Ramirez: How will he replace Coco’s fro?

Justin Masterson: Starter? Reliever? Starter? Reliever?

Jonathan Papelbon: Can he keep his mouth shut long enough to sign a long-term contract?

5 days and we’ll start answering some of these questions.