Opening Day is more than just one of 162 games, it’s a holiday. It’s baseball’s New Year. Forget the giant dragon dance, the fireworks, the champagne. Nothing beats the first pitch. But of course, this being bizarro opening day, none of that happened for the Sox (we didn’t even get the traditional Red Sox dragon dance!). Instead of the promise of spring turning to summer and baseball being played for the next 7 months, we got rain. Lots and lots of rain. Just what the people of New England wanted after a miserable winter.

A single rainout isn’t fun, but it takes a little more to be “bizarro.” So how about $161M man CC Sabathia not making it through 5 innings as the MFY lost to the Orioles. Robinson Cano, he who earned a total of 26 BB last season, had not one but two on opening day. And to round it all out, here are your AL East standings:

Baltimore Orioles
Toronto Blue Jays
Boston Red Sox
Tampa Bay Rays (something still feels missing from that)
M.F. Yankees

It’s gonna be a strange season.