THE RED SOX TEAM, ALL DRESSED IN TUXEDOS, IS POSED “TEAM PICTURE” STYLE ON THE INFIELD OF FENWAY PARK

TEAM: (in unison) Hello. Do you know us?

VARITEK: We’re a Major League Baseball team.

WAKEFIELD: That’s why we carry the American Express card.

PAPELBON: Even if we start off the season 2-6, it’s cool. You know, it keeps us from getting shut out at our favorite hotels and restaurant-type places.

LOWELL: So if you’re looking for some Big-League clout, apply for that little green home-run hitter.

PAPI: Look what it’s done for US. I still haven’t hit a home run, BUT… [SNAPS]

TITO: After a 10 game winning streak including a three game sweep of the MFY, we’re contenders now.

DRESSED IN A TUXEDO, TACOBY SLIDES INTO HOME PLATE AND HOLDS UP A GREEN CREDIT CARD

TACOBY: The American Express card: Don’t steal home without it.

(Script adapted from Major League, by David S Ward.)